Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Never A Dull Moment

Brianna is so fun, and definitely one of a kind!

Brianna has her own sense of style that is as one-of-a-kind as she is.  This was our conversation while getting ready for school on Monday:
Me: Um, do you maybe have a pink shirt to go with that skirt?
Brianna: Nope!
Me:  Ok, I guess red might work.  But, do you think we could choose some different socks?  I mean, just because there's no blue anywhere else in your outfit?
Brianna:  That's the fun of it!

******

Brianna also has an issue with mixing up her words, or syllables within words.  She knows exactly what she means, and usually we can figure it out, but it's often hilarious.  Two recent examples:

Brianna: I know the devil's real name.  It's Christopher!"
Me: What?!  No!  It's not Christopher.
Brianna:  Yes.  It's Christopher, my primary teacher told me.
Me:  Oh!  No, honey, it's Lucifer, not Christopher.


Brianna:  I think I'm getting the Frank of this.
Me: I think you mean the HANG of this.
Brianna: Well I say the Frank of this!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Dream Castles

I just spent a delightful half hour or so snuggling with Brianna as she animatedly described her dream castle.  It was so fun to see her light up and hear the excitement in her voice with each new idea.  Here are some of the highlights of the tour of the castle and grounds.


  • There are flowers pretty much everywhere, inside and out.  Roses, in particular were mentioned a great deal.
  • There are no stairs, instead there is an elevator for going up, and a super fluffy and soft slide for going down.  When descending on the slide, you must take a golden stick with you, and as you descend, you have to stick the stick into holes at the different floors where you would like to get off.  Then, you send the golden stick back to the top via the small elevator just for sticks.  Were you to forget your stick, you would slide all the way down and end up in the pool.  
  • In the pool, there are thousands of dolphins who let you ride on their backs.
  • There is a restaurant, a theater, a game room, a drawing room, a library, a place to buy journals, a ball room, a necklace shop, and for people who are too poor, there is a sort of soup kitchen.
  • Her teachers, doctors, cooks, etc. all live in the castle too.
  • Outside, there are a lot of ponds and bridges, and trees with picnic benches.
  • There is a fishing pool, where the fish will just come right up to your poles, and there are spanking things for the fish who don't.
  • There is a farm for growing foods eaten in the castle.
  • There are cows and sheep, but we don't kill them, unless there's no food and all the stores are empty.
  • And, there's a place for daddy to hunt.

Monday, August 6, 2012

On the Way to Her BFF's

As I was driving Brianna and her best buddy to his house last week, I overheard them talking in the back:

B: I love your house!  It's like a castle!  Seriously, with all those bricks going up, up, up!
Q: I know, but it's not a castle, it's like a temple.
B: Ya, totally.
Q: Because castles always have that water around them, so that if someone's trying to get in, they just fall right in the water.
B: Ya, castles have the water that goes all around the outside.  So the guys go "la, la, la, AAaaaah!"
Q: Ya, that's what I just said.
B: Ya, and I would 'spect that they have sharks.
Q: Ya, sharks.
B: Or dolphins.
Q: No, not dolphins.  Dolphins don't eat people. Sharks do....  Or killer whales.
B: If I had a castle, I'd have dolphins in my water.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Olympic Dreams

Once school starts, this will be the first time, in a decade, that I will have both kids gone for a majority of each day.  Admittedly, I have felt somewhat lost, and have wondered what to do with the rest of my life.  I shared this with my mother, and she expressed that she was having similar feelings of her own.  My older sister just graduated from college, and is seeking a job, and my younger sister has been under-employed for a while now.
All of this was on my mind as I watched the olympics yesterday, and I think I've hit on some inspiration!  I have decided that the four of us should become the world's first synchronized tandem diving team!  Honestly, I can't believe that this hasn't been a sport yet, but I will totally use that to our advantage!  Think how the media will eat it up: four people, two generations from the same family, ranging in age from 35 to 70, deciding that it's never too late to follow your dreams!  We will inspire millions!
Now, there are some obstacles that we will have to overcome, but that just adds depth to the story, don't ya think?  Take me, for instance, I don't know how to swim, am terrified of heights, and I really dislike being seen in a swim suit.  We live in four different states, and three of us don't even have swimming pools (well, one of us has a pool as part of their HOA, and one of us has a 42" deep above ground pool)!  But those are the biographies that we find most inspiring-- when the athletes have to overcome insurmountable obstacles!
Now, while I'm trying to figure out how to break it to my younger sister, that we will all be moving in with her for the duration of our training, why don't you tell me what the Olympics has inspired YOU to do?

Happy Birthday James!!!

Happy Birthday to my dear, wonderful, amazing husband, lover, and Best Friend! You are my everything! I hope you know how much I love you and I hope this is a wonderful year for you!

Please keep your arms and legs inside the ride until it comes to a complete stop

Life is sometimes as crazy, up-and-down, and full of unpredictable twists and turns as a world-class roller-coaster! We had quite a ride over the last couple of months. So glad to finally have both feet back on the ground, and to have my head finally not spinning.


Snippets of our ride:
*I am able to go to a women's retreat in California = UP
*I screw up my itinerary for getting home from California = DOWN
*I have to eat the cost of my original plane ticket and purchase an entirely new ticket = DOWN
*I am able to get on a flight to SLC where my parents graciously picked me up = UP
*My parents drive me all the way home and visit for a few days = UP
*James' sister Monica and her family, along with two of my niece's and a nephew come for a visit = UP
*My niece's babysit all the kids, while the adults have a wonderful over-night get-away = UP
*Positive pregnancy test = huge, unexpected, surprise UP
*I stop anti-depressant cold-turkey = DOWN (see positive pregnancy test)
*Three of my sister's kids come for a visit = UP (Maybe a DOWN for them--see stopping anti-depressant cold-turkey)
*We host Mr. Dan, a British soccer coach with Challenger British Soccer Camp = UP
*Both kids get to do soccer camp = UP
*Ben does Cub Scout Day Camp = UP
*Brianna Joy turns SIX YEARS OLD! And has a backyard swim party = UP
*We go to my beautiful new neice's baby blessing and visit with family and some friends = UP
*James receives a call to serve on the Stake High Council = UP
*Miscarriage = painfully disappointing DOWN
*D and C = DOWN
*James' parents come visit and James' dad ordains him a High Priest = UP
*Ben gets to go to Camp Invention = UP
*We go jet skiing with friends = UP
*I run the jet ski over a rope and kill it = DOWN
*No local place can fix our jet ski in time for our Lake Powell trip on July 4th = DOWN
*I take the jet skis and my kids to my Daddy and he fixes it!! = UP
*We blow out a tire on the jet ski trailer on our way home from my parent's = DOWN (Please note, this is at about 3:45pm, July 3rd)
*Miraculously, we are able to limp back to Green River, UT on our rim, and find a place that actually has a tire and can fix it! = UP
*We have a quick, lovely, fun, and safe trip to Lake Powell, with TWO functioning jet skis = UP
*We return home, regroup (do laundry and re-pack) and get ready to head to Vernal with two vehicles --one pulling the jet skis, and one pulling our camp trailer-- for a family reunion, but before we leave, our home a/c starts pouring out water (Friday, after 5pm)= DOWN
*We make a call, and within the hour, it is fixed, at a fair price, and we are on our way - UP
*We have a great time with James' family at the reunion = UP
*We go jet skiing with James' sister's family and have a great time = UP
*At the very end of the day on the lake, one of the jet skis runs over seaweed and gets killed again = DOWN
*I am able to tell my sister-in-law that it's ok, and I know EXACTLY how she feels, because I had just experienced it! -UP
*We are able to get the seaweed out, and the jet ski is fine = UP
*We hook up the trailer to the car, to head to SLC for my nephew's mission report, BUT the trailer lights don't work, and since it is late, we cannot go = DOWN
*We miss my nephews mission report = DOWN
*The next day, we get the trailer light problem fixed and head north to camp between the Grand Teton National Park, and Yellowstone = UP
*We enjoy the breathtaking views of the Grand Tetons, AND run into some friends = UP
*A leak in our trailer's plumbing takes half a day to get parts and repair = DOWN
*I decide to go back on my anti-depressant = UP, and UP
*I hear my son's first intentional curse words = DOWN
*Brianna mis-hears Ben's curse words, and asks me over and over, "what's wrong with saying 'piece of boat'?" = UP
*We spend a few days exploring the wonders of Yellowstone = UP
*Ben cracks up the crowd at Old Faithful when he says "Boy! They must have a BIG water bill!" = UP
*Brianna's precious fingers get slammed in the car door by accident = very. painful. DOWN
*The next morning, Brianna wakes up cheerful, and says that her fingers barely hurt anymore. And, indeed, I believe that God performed a miracle in her behalf with those little fingers. = UP
*While wandering around a stinky, sulpherous, belching area of Yellowstone, Ben says, "Mother Nature sure is gassy today!" = UP
*We run into our same friends that we saw in the Tetons over and over, until we begin to accuse each other of stalking = UP
*We head home after a long, and mostly-enjoyable vacation = UP
*James and I attend the temple on our way home, while the kids hang out with Great Grandpa = UP
*We make it safely home, to find all is well = UP

Well, life has been continuing, but at a slower, more relaxed pace since returning home. Brianna attended a two-day ballet camp; Ben read the second Harry Potter novel; we've been getting school supplies and school clothes ready; I received a new calling to serve as WEBELOS leader (Ben's age group); and James has become a star on his rec soccer team.

We hope that YOUR summer ride has been fun, with more UPs than DOWNs, and that it has included happy surprises and laughter, and an increase in faith with each twist and turn, as has ours!

Monday, May 14, 2012

And YOU thought I looked all innocent!

James and I introduced a new approach to jobs/chores/earning in our home last Friday.  (We are following the system laid out in the book "Entitlement Trap".)  We told the kids to get dressed nicely for a "business dinner", then we took them to dinner and explained the new system to them.  We even had them sign contracts, which they were pretty happy to do, because this system allows them to earn more than they've been able to previously.
So, after the contracts are signed, and we are enjoying our dinner together, Brianna says, "So what are YOU guys gunning to do now?" (meaning James and I.)  "Just sit around and play with OUR toys all day?"

Man, I can't believe she figured out our devious plan so quickly!  We've just been WAITING for our kids to be old enough to do ALL the work, so that we could finally have some REAL play time.  I've had my eye on her Fisher Price family for years now!  Good thing she signed the contract BEFORE she figured it all out!  Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

Friday, May 11, 2012

Self-Defense, very important

When I told Ben that I would be going out of town next weekend, alone, he became very worried.  He hugged me tightly and asked me to not go.  I asked him why and he indicated that he was worried for my safety.  I told him that I would be fine, and observed that he never gets so worried when James goes out of town.  He said, "But you're not tough!"
"Mommy's tougher than you think she is, and I will be just fine." I replied.
"Ya, but if some big, mean guys start bullying you, you can't just noogie them to death!" he said.

He has a point, you know.  That's why I have added to my self-defense repertoire armpit-tickling, belly-zerbitzing, bum-goosing, and rib-counting.  For all you mom's out there, self-defense starts in the home, and I prefer to practice all these maneuvers regularly on my children.  You never know when you'll need them to fight off the big, mean bullies of the world!

Monday, April 30, 2012

Things that made me giggle yesterday....

During the opening hymn in Church, Ben leans over to me and says, "That's not true!" 
"What's not true?" I asked, confused.
"There's not a right and wrong to EVERY question!" (The hymn stated, 'there's a right and a wrong to every question'.) He went on to give me an example, "Do you like skittles?!"

*************

During Primary, I had one rambunctious little guy come sit next to me, to try to help him be more reverent.  After a while, he showed me the CTR ring he had been holding and playing with.  I said, "Oh, that's nice!  Does it help you to choose the right?"
He said, "Ya.  I stole it from my brother's bedroom."


*************

Then, the last scripture we read in our family scripture study last night ended with, "...—ye shall lie down in sorrow."  (2 Nephi 7:11)  With that, Brianna closed the scriptures, tipped over onto the couch, and wearily said, "I'm gunning to lie down in sorrow."

Monday, April 23, 2012

Happy Birthday, Ben!!

Ben had a Battle-themed birthday party on Saturday.  I made a chocolate sheet cake, with some extra chocolate cake to create terrain, and then I set him loose with army guys, chocolate rocks, and logs (tootsie rolls).  He took to decorating his cake like a fish to water.  If I had done it, I would have had some green guys facing this way, and some brown guys facing them on the other side.  But Ben has a better grasp of what a true battle scene would look like!  Enjoy the detail.  As you can imagine, it was quite a hit with the boys at his party!





Each boy was given a camoflauge bag with a foam-disc-shooting gun, a foam-arrow-shooting cross-bow, a "grenade" (a soft ball), an inflatable sword, a water bottle, and dog-tags with their names.  Then, we set them loose to have their battle in the back yard!  Boy did they have fun!  Unfortunately, my camera was taking blurry pictures throughout the whole battle! :(




Happy Birthday, Ben!
I love you so much!  I'm so grateful to be your mother!  I can't believe that you are
10 YEARS OLD!!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Ben on Politics

"You know what would be bad?  If Mitt Romney became President, and then he made swearing against the law.  Then the prisons would be overflowing, and there would be rioting, and then we would no longer be the USA, only the SA!  And then, even the school kids would be mad! ... Get it?  SA?  Essay?"

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Stuff I love ...

I love that Brianna says "gunning to" instead of "going to", as in
      *I am GUNNING TO marry Q!
      *Are you gunning to make dinner?

I love that our new backyard plants are starting to wake up and blossom.

I love that Ben and Brianna can both get lost in imagination in the backyard.  That was a major hope of mine in landscaping back there.  I love looking out the window and seeing Ben in the midst of an intense battle on the trampoline;  Or Brianna deep in conversation with some one only she can see. 

I love that Ben shares his deepest thoughts, worries, and even crushes with me if I'll just take the time to snuggle him at bedtime.

I love to overhear Brianna "reading" a book.  While she is learning to read, she is still a beginning reader, but with her active imagination and large vocabulary and unique talent for narration, she is SO fun to hear!  Maybe all of our reading together and audiobook listening is preparing her for her future career as an Audible.com narrator.

I love my husband!  Easter Sunday, James arrived late to church, due to work.  I was sitting on the stand, as I was to speak.  My heart skipped a beat, and my mind calmed as I saw him enter the chapel.

Easter Sunday Resurrection Talk

Brush your teeth.  Wash your hands.  Comb your hair.  Eat your vegetables.  Stand up straight.  All of these and more we have been taught by our parents with regard to our physical bodies. 

From the Health community, we are taught: Exercise.  Eat your vegetables. Eat a balanced diet.  Drink plenty of fluids.  Get plenty of rest. Etc.

From God, through His prophets and the scriptures we are taught:  Do not partake of alcohol, tobacco, drugs, coffee or tea.  Eat your vegetables. Eat meat sparingly.  Do not get tattoos.  Other than the optional one pair of earrings for girls, do not pierce your body.  Bridle your tongue.  And, the Law of Chastity, and the commandment to not kill, two commandments that carry the most severe of consequences if broken, have to do with how a Spirit person gains a body, and how that Spirit departs it's mortal body.

As a side-note: Kids, if all that you get out of my talk is that you need to eat your vegetables, that is still a good message. 

So, obviously, our bodies, how we care for them, and what we do with them are important.  But why?  In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we are taught that "In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life."

Those Spirit sons and daughters were us.  We lived with our perfect, immortal, righteous, joyous Father in Heaven.  He is the Father of our Spirits, and we wanted to become like him.  Our Father in Heaven's entire work and glory is to bring to pass our IMMORTALITY and ETERNAL LIFE.  Immortality requires that we have a perfect physical body permanently and inseparably connected with our spirit body.  Eternal life requires that we keep the commandments and the covenants that we have made to perfection that we too may be perfect, righteous, and joyous like our Father in Heaven.

Heavenly Father knew that the way for us to gain immortality and eternal life was to come to earth, gain a physical body, and learn through our experience to make righteous choices.  He loved us, and he knew that this life would present two major obstacles in our ability to return to Him: first is sin, the second is physical death.  So, His plan required a Savior to atone for the sins of man and to break the bonds of death.  Our Father said, "Whom shall I send?" (Abraham 3:27). Jesus Christ, who was called Jehovah, said, "Here am I, send me" (Abraham 3:27), giving all glory and honor to the Father.

Satan also volunteered, but not to follow the Father's plan.  Instead, he proposed a plan in which we would not be allowed to learn through our choices; we would be forced to do what is right; and in his plan, all glory and honor would be his. 

Our loving, wise, perfect Father chose Jesus Christ, knowing that His love for his Spirit brothers and sisters, His unwavering obedience, and His strength of character would see Him through the difficult task.  Satan was not pleased, and a battle, in the War for the Souls of Men, commenced

Of this time, President Hinckley taught, "What a perilous time that must have been. The Almighty Himself was pitted against the son of the morning. We were there while that was going on. That must have been a desperately difficult struggle, with a grand, triumphal victory.

"...Why were we then happy? I think it was because good had triumphed over evil and the whole human family was on the Lord’s side. We turned our backs on the adversary and aligned ourselves with the forces of God, and those forces were victorious."  Close quote.

One third of the hosts of Heaven had chosen to follow Satan, and, being defeated, were cast out.  In losing the battle, Satan and his followers permanently lost the opportunities presented in our Father's plan.  Namely, they would NEVER receive a physical body, and they could NEVER live with God again. 

For those of you thinking, "At least THEY don't have to eat their vegetables."  Listen to what the Prophet Joseph Smith taught: "We came to this earth that we might have a body and present it pure before God in the celestial kingdom. The great principle of happiness consists in having a body. The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment. He is pleased when he can obtain the tabernacle of man, and when cast out by the Savior he asked to go into the herd of swine, showing that he would prefer a swine's body to having none. All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not. The devil has no power over us only as we permit him; the moment we revolt at anything which comes from God, the devil takes power' " Close quote. (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith [2007], 211, 214)."(David A. Bednar, "Things as They Really Are (Church Educational System fireside for young adults, May 3, 2009)

(We might also note that the swine, themselves, preferred death to being inhabited by evil spirits.)

In General Conference last Sunday morning, Elder Russell M. Nelson spoke of our amazing bodies.  He said, " Each organ of your body is a wondrous gift from God. Each eye has an autofocusing lens. Nerves and muscles control two eyes to make a single three-dimensional image. The eyes are connected to the brain, which records the sights seen.

"Your heart is an incredible pump.17 It has four delicate valves that control the direction of blood flow. These valves open and close more than 100,000 times a day—36 million times a year. Yet, unless altered by disease, they are able to withstand such stress almost indefinitely.

"Think of the body’s defense system. To protect it from harm, it perceives pain. In response to infection, it generates antibodies. The skin provides protection. It warns against injury that excessive heat or cold might cause.

"The body renews its own outdated cells and regulates the levels of its own vital ingredients. The body heals its cuts, bruises, and broken bones. Its capacity for reproduction is another sacred gift from God.

"Be we reminded that a perfect body is not required to achieve one’s divine destiny. In fact, some of the sweetest spirits are housed in frail or imperfect bodies. Great spiritual strength is often developed by people with physical challenges, precisely because they are so challenged."

He goes on to explain, " If the body’s capacity for normal function, defense, repair, regulation, and regeneration were to prevail without limit, life here would continue in perpetuity. Yes, we would be stranded here on earth! Mercifully for us, our Creator provided for aging and other processes that would ultimately result in our physical death. Death, like birth, is part of life. Scripture teaches that “it was not expedient that man should be reclaimed from this temporal death, for that would destroy the great plan of happiness.”20 To return to God through the gateway we call death is a joy for those who love Him and are prepared to meet Him.21 Eventually the time will come when each “spirit and … body shall be reunited again in … perfect form; both limb and joint shall be restored to its proper frame,”22 never to be separated again. For these physical gifts, thanks be to God!"

For those of us left behind, death does not generally bring a feeling of joy.  " When President Hinckley spoke at [Elder Joseph B.] Wirthlin’s [wife's] funeral, he said that it is a devastating, consuming thing to lose someone you love. It gnaws at your soul."

Elder Wirthlin agreed, saying, " He was right. As Elisa was my greatest joy, now her passing is my greatest sorrow."

He goes on to teach, " During my life I have heard many sermons on the Resurrection. Like you, I can recite the events of that first Easter Sunday. ...We know what the Resurrection is—the reuniting of the spirit and body in its perfect form.1

"...Can you imagine that? Life at our prime? Never sick, never in pain, never burdened by the ills that so often beset us in mortality?

"The Resurrection is at the core of our beliefs as Christians. Without it, our faith is meaningless.  ... when the Savior rose from the tomb, He did something no one had ever done. He did something no one else could do. He broke the bonds of death, not only for Himself but for all who have ever lived—the just and the unjust.6

"When Christ rose from the grave, becoming the firstfruits of the Resurrection, He made that gift available to all. And with that sublime act, He softened the devastating, consuming sorrow that gnaws at the souls of those who have lost precious loved ones."

This life can be very hard.  Our bodies, though wonderful and amazing and necessary to our Eternal progression can also cause us a lot of trouble at times.  Sickness, injury and age can bring pain and sorrow to anyone. 

However, Christ, our Savior, our Warrior, our Deliverer in the premortal realm, came to earth as a tiny baby. Born to a mortal mother, and an immortal Father -- our Father in Heaven, himself, being the Father of Christ's mortal body, Christ again became our Deliverer, this time from Death and Sin.

President Marion G. Romney taught, ""... His death on the cross, after having been rejected and betrayed and after having suffered appalling indignities, seems not to be in dispute, even among nonbelievers. That he gave his life voluntarily, with the express purpose of taking it up again in the Resurrection, is not so universally accepted. Such, however, is the fact. He was, it is true, maliciously slain by wicked men, but all the while he held the power to stay them. “I lay down my life,” he said, “that I might take it again.

“No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again.” (John 10:17–18.)

"This power was inherently his by virtue of his being born of the virgin Mary (a mortal), and being the Son of God (an immortal, celestialized being)".  Close quote. (Marion G. Romney, April 1982)

I close now with a portion of Elder Wirthlin's October 2006 General Conference talk. He said, "I think of how dark that Friday was when Christ was lifted up on the cross.

"On that terrible Friday the earth shook and grew dark. Frightful storms lashed at the earth.

"Those evil men who sought His life rejoiced. Now that Jesus was no more, surely those who followed Him would disperse. On that day they stood triumphant.

"On that day the veil of the temple was rent in twain.

"Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of Jesus, were both overcome with grief and despair. The superb man they had loved and honored hung lifeless upon the cross.

"On that Friday the Apostles were devastated. Jesus, their Savior—the man who had walked on water and raised the dead—was Himself at the mercy of wicked men. They watched helplessly as He was overcome by His enemies.

"On that Friday the Savior of mankind was humiliated and bruised, abused and reviled.

"It was a Friday filled with devastating, consuming sorrow that gnawed at the souls of those who loved and honored the Son of God.

"I think that of all the days since the beginning of this world’s history, that Friday was the darkest.

"But the doom of that day did not endure.

"The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind.

"And in an instant the eyes that had been filled with ever-flowing tears dried. The lips that had whispered prayers of distress and grief now filled the air with wondrous praise, for Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, stood before them as the firstfruits of the Resurrection, the proof that death is merely the beginning of a new and wondrous existence.

"Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.

"But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.

"No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.

"I testify to you that the Resurrection is not a fable. We have the personal testimonies of those who saw Him. Thousands in the Old and New Worlds witnessed the risen Savior. They felt the wounds in His hands, feet, and side. They shed tears of unrestrained joy as they embraced Him."  Close Quote
I bear my testimony to you that I know that my Redeemer lives, and that because He lives, each of us, too, will be resurrected.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Ego Check

James asked me to start blogging again.  Touched, I said, "Oh, you've missed my posts?"  He said, "Well, I have, but I think it's a really good way to record our family history."

It kind of reminded me of two Sundays ago at church.  I received a new calling which would take me away from Young Women's where I have been teaching since about mid-December.  I have struggled to feel like I've really connected with the girls, even though they are great girls.  So, when one of them  asked, "You're not going to stop teaching us are you?"  "Aw," I thought, "She actually likes me." 
"I'm sorry," I said.  "Ugh!" she moaned, "we've been through SO many teachers!"

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Happy Viewing!!

Happy General Conference Weekend everybody!!  I hope you each enjoy it as much as I do.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out LDS.org, and you too can enjoy conference. 

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

WIBS

There I was sobbing in our closed bedroom closet.  It had been yet another unofficial Mother's Day in our married student ward -- a ward which one visitor quipped "should be renamed the Maternity Ward."  It was true, at any given time, it seemed that at least one third of the ward was pregnant, while at least another third had newborn babies.  It was a very difficult ward to be in during our child-less "unexplained infertility" years.  The real Mother's Day was hard enough, but at least I knew when it was coming, and could, to some degree, mentally prepare for it.  It was these unofficial Mother's Days, where all the testimonies centered around the blessings and joy of motherhood, and where the Relief Society lesson was centered on the same, that left me in the emotionally crumpled heap I found myself in inside my closet.
I didn't want to come out.  Ever.  I was so tired of this rollercoaster.  I was so tired of hurting; of wanting; of wondering what I had done to render me so completely unworthy.  Emotionally, I felt completely beaten to a bloody pulp.
At some point during my heart-wrenching sobs, James knocked on the closet door, and gently reminded me that my Visiting Teachers would be at our home in just a few minutes.  My first instinct was to have him send them away, but I knew that would draw more attention to me and my "issues" than I could handle; so, I pulled myself together, emerged from the closet, fixed my make-up and greeted my Visiting Teachers when they arrived. 
They were newly assigned to me, and we did not know each other well.  During the lesson, one of them shared with me a personal experience she had just had: she and her husband had just realized that she was pregnant!  They were devastated.  How could this happen?  The timing was SO bad!  They were trying to get through school, etc., etc.  And then, they found out that it was a false alarm.  They were SO relieved.
In short, it was The.Completely.Wrong.Message to share with me on that particular day.  Strangely enough, however, instead of feeling further crushed, I felt love.  I felt that these ladies went out of their way to come and visit me, and although the words were all wrong, I had a definite sense that I was being watched over, and that if they had had ANY idea what I had been feeling, not ten minutes before they arrived, they would have shared something very different with me.  But it didn't matter.  God made it all good.  I don't understand how He can make that happen, but I know He can, because I know He did.
This actually gives me hope and courage.  You see, there are a lot of trials that I have never experienced in this life (not complaining or asking for more, mind you) and I often feel that I have no idea what to say to friends, loved ones, or acquaintances who may be facing these trials.  But, maybe if I just open my mouth, and am sincere, God will make my WIBS (well-intentioned-but-stupid) remarks into something good-- in spite of my weaknesses and faults.  At least, I hope He will.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Brianna -- our little authoress

Brianna M  Turtle in a nest
Can you see the turtle in the nest

Tutle why are you always in the nest
Little turtle what did you do




Snuggle time for turtle


She met him at Hobby Lobby.  It was a whirlwind romance
which ended when we saw the pricetag.

Our little Pilgrim

Dang!  She's a good little skier!


A very common occurrance in our home: Brianna shows up
dressed in some humorous fashion and asks me to take a picture!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Pondering the Vision of the Tree of Life

I have had the opportunity to hear/participate in the Tree of Life lesson in Sunday School for two weeks in a row--my awesome Mother-in-Law taught it in her ward last week where we were visiting, and my awesome husband taught it in our ward this week (where I was not visiting).  Between my Mother-in-Law's lesson last week, my own preparations to teach about the Holy Ghost in YW this week, and James' lesson, I have had some thoughts/insights that were new to me.

When Lehi begins the account of his vision of the Tree of Life, he says, "And it came to pass that I saw a man, and he was dressed in a white robe; and he came and stood before me.  And it came to pass that he spake unto me, and bade me follow him.  And it came to pass that as I followed him I beheld myself that I was in a dark and dreary waste."  (1 Nephi 8:5-7)

I've always found that strange.  I mean, I assume he is following a Heavenly messenger--a being of light and hope, perhaps the Holy Ghost, himself--and yet he finds himself in a dark and dreary waste.  What the?

He continues his account with "And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness, I began to pray unto the Lord that he would have mercy on me, according to the multitude of his tender mercies.  And it came to pass after I had prayed unto the Lord I beheld a large and spacious field.  And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy." (1 Nephi 8:8-10)

So, it struck me today, that a Prophet of God, who has been following a Heavenly messenger, finds himself in a dark and dreary waste, and it isn't until he PRAYS that he is able to see where he is and where he needs to go.  And, significantly, where he needs to go is to the Tree of Life, which, of course, is a representation of the Love of God, or in other words Christ. 

He then goes directly to the Tree and partakes of the fruit (eternal life).  He tastes it and it is wonderful, and he wants his family to have the same wonderful fruit and so he "casts his eyes round about" at which point his eyes are opened to the rest of the vision: his family, the rod, the straight and narrow path, the numberless concourses of people, the river, the large and spacious building, the mists of darkness, etc. 

Therefore, the guidance of the Holy Ghost combined with prayer lead us to Christ.  Once we have come unto Christ, felt of the love of God, and tasted of eternity (through making and keeping covenants) our vision and our understanding are expanded. Then we, like Lehi, may see our family, and those over whom we have stewardship, more clearly; we may see the course that leads to Christ and eternal life; and we may see the challenges and obstacles and temptations that they and we face.

So, what of those who make it to the Tree, eat of the fruit, and then become ashamed and fall away?  "I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.  And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed."  (1 Nephi 8:24-25)  I think the key lies in their own strength (or lack thereof).  Yes, they pressed forward through the mist of darkness, but they were clinging to the rod, which we know represents the word of God.  To me, the word "clinging" sounds more fear-filled than faith-filled.  My thought is that they relied entirely on the rod, neglecting to internalize the word of God, so that, even when they had arrived at the Tree they had yet to "come unto Christ". 
For when we truly come unto Christ, we are filled with his love, or in other words with charity.  And, when we are filled with charity, we see people as God sees them.  Charity helps us to understand what people are communicating, without getting stuck on what they are saying or doing.  Therefore, through charity-filled eyes, the people in the large and spacious building who are mocking don't make us feel ashamed, rather, we see clearly that they have no foundation; we see that although there are multitudes, they are still alone.
Those who did not fall away were described as "continually holding fast to the rod of iron, until they came forth and fell down and partook of the fruit of the tree."  (1 Nephi 8:30)  Perhaps the real difference is that they not only kept the word of God firmly in their hand, but also firmly in their hearts.  They had a strength within themselves that comes from testimony firmly rooted within.  Therefore, knowing who they are and knowing the true source of their strength and hope and peace, they were able to "heed not" those who scorned them.
So, the "cling"-ers, to me at least, sort of parallel Lehi before he prayed.  One might think that Lehi following a Heavenly messenger would be just fine, but until he exercised his faith to pray, he had not truly come unto Christ.  The "cling"-ers arrived at the Tree without that same exercise of faith, and were, therefore, still blind to a degree, and were not strengthened within themselves.

One last thought I had was this: "Laman and Lemuel" who "partook not of the fruit" probably can't even see the Tree!!(Nephi 8:35) If Lehi, who was following the Spirit couldn't see it until he prayed, then it stands to reason that his son's who refuse to inquire of the Lord (or to pray in any way that would invite personal revelation), who claim, "the Lord maketh no such thing known unto us" (Nephi 15:9) would not have that sight or vision made manifest unto them.