Obviously, I have had a LOT of writer's block in the last, oh, 2 1/2 years. So, yesterday, when I came across a jar I received a looooong time ago I had a dash of inspiration. This jar is filled with questions or topics to get a person writing (personal history or journal stuff). I decided that I would give it a shot.
I will pull a random slip of paper from this jar, and use the words written on it as my jumping off point for my posts. I hope it works.
Slip #1: Tell about raising your children: problems, joys, sorrows, accomplishments, etc.
O.k., here goes. I have been blessed with the two most wonderful children in the world. They are smart, funny, incredibly good looking, and also challenging.
A few months ago, I had had enough of them B.E.G.G.I.N.G. for everything they saw when we would go to any store. I was disgusted, feeling like they were acting like spoiled children and knowing that they had no concept of money management, or the worth of a dollar.
As I was praying about what to do, I felt that we should give them jobs to do, and that they should earn money. So, we set things up, and let them know that they would get paid on the first of each month. They would be paid according to how well they did their jobs. And that they needed to understand that this is ALL the money they would be getting for the whole month. There was to be NO asking for anything at ANY store. If they wanted something, they needed to use their own money. If they didn't have enough, then they needed to SAVE UP! They would pay tithing first, and then they needed to put 20% into savings -- not to be touched.
Honestly, it has worked really well so far. There have been times when they have asked for something at a store, but when we say, "well, how much money do you have?" they immediately remember, and understand that it is up to them to come up with the money for things they want.
The reason that we went with once a month payment was to help them understand that when it's gone, it's gone, so they need to learn to budget. Also, it seems to be easier for them to pay tithing and put away savings when they still have enough left over to buy something.
Now, I may have set them up for failure this month. Having been REALLY frustrated with the bickering, hitting, and name-calling; the lack of obedience, and the inappropriate behavior when we are out and about, I gave them the following jobs for the month of January:
1. Get along: no hitting, yelling, name-calling. Disagreements are to be talked through - out of mommy's presence.
2. OBEY parents.
3. Behave appropriately when we go places (i.e., at the store, don't play hide and seek, tag, or any number of other games that can knock down merchandise, crash into customers, or cause mommy to panic when she can't find you; when home-teachers come over we sit on the couch and listen, instead of saying, "when are they leaving?!" and flopping all over the couch; in restaurants, sitting on the chair/bench, not crawling on the floor or turning upside in seat.)
I told my mom that I don't think I'll have to pay them this month. I'm not sure that this was the right approach, but I was feeling desperate, and money can be a good motivator sometimes.
Truly, my kids bring me joy everyday. They both have very good hearts. Brianna willingly helps people whenever she is asked and often without being asked. Ben really loves his family, and has been offering such sweet, thoughtful prayers lately. I need to focus more thoroughly on the joys that they bring me, and less on the frustrations.
I hope that my children will grow up with the skills, knowledge, faith, strength of character, understanding of consequences (good and bad), and power of discernment to help them to lead happy, successful lives, to contribute positively to their families, wards, communities, and other environments, and to have eternal life.
That is a tall order, and I hope that throughout this year, I can do things that will help them along that path.
Family pic 2020
2 months ago