money, motivation, and mistakes

Aaaaah! So, I've been thinking that it's wrong to pay your children to obey their parents and to get along with each other. Plus, I'm listening to the book Drive: The Surprising Truth about What Motivates Us, by Daniel H. Pink, and now I KNOW that it's counter-productive to PAY your children to obey their parents and to get along.
In fact, I've learned that paying your children to do anything suggests to them that the task is undesirable in some way, AND once they've been paid to do something, they are FAR more unlikely to ever do it again without pay.
I haven't finished the book yet, but I'm sufficiently worried about what damage I may have already done, and thoroughly confused about how to teach my kids to handle money, and about how you get paid for what you do, etc., without messing up their internal motivation for doing things.
Parenting is hard.