Dear Hamilton County Parks Folks,
I would like to thank you for your relatively prompt response to the report of the rabid squirrel at the children's playground in Sharon Woods. Though I did not see the foam, I hear that it was pouring out of the squirrel's mouth and that it was behaving rather agressively at times. When we arrived, the squirrel was several feet from the play area, so we (my friend and I) let our kids play on the playground, while keeping a close eye on the rabid little fellow.
When your Ranger showed up, accompanied by what appeared to be 5 landscaping employees, their only tool/weapon that they were wielding was a single shovel. (I promise not to tell PETA.) In order to protect our kids from the chase, violence and carnage that was about to ensue, my friend and I moved our little party to a picnic table about 20 yards away to eat our lunch.
Now, I'll admit here that my entire knowledge of rabies comes from the movie Old Yeller, but I feel compelled to tell you that based on my limited knowledge, I think that wasn't the only squirrel in your park with rabies. You see, when we sat down to eat, we were surrounded by three other squirrels who were not in the least bit afraid of us. They were fairly aggressive toward us, and were jumping up on our picnic table and coming at us. According to Old Yeller, that sort of unnatural behavior could be an early sign of rabies -- regardless of the lack of foam. They eventually ran us out of the park -- I suddenly felt a kinship with Patch Adams' roomie in the insane asylum!
So, I would just like to suggest that you either "put down" the squirrels, or you build a big pen, put them in it, and watch them closely. In the meantime, I'll be taking my meals INSIDE!
Thank you,
A Concerned Citizen
