Safeguarding Our Families from the Influences of the Secular Media

Here's my talk, if you're interested.

The battle between good and evil -- the battle for our very souls -- began long before we came to Earth, and continues in our day. The so-called “war chapters” in the Book of Mormon are some of my favorites. To me, there is so much in there that is applicable to us today.

For instance, Alma chapter 47 relates the story of the Nephite dissenter, Amalickiah, who, with some of his followers, had joined the Lamanites. Amalickiah succeeded in gaining favor with the king of the Lamanites, and with getting him all riled up against the Nephites. So much so,“… that the king of the Lamanites sent a proclamation throughout all his land, among all his people, that they should gather themselves together again to go to battle against the Nephites.” (Alma 47:1)

Most of the Lamanites, however, refused to obey the king’s command, being afraid for their lives. “Therefore [the king] gave Amalickiah the command of that part of his army which was obedient unto [him]”, and commanded Amalickiah to go and force the rest of the Lamanites go to battle, too. (Alma 47:3)

Amalickiah caught up with these Lamanite dissenters at the Mount Antipas where they had prepared for battle, “being fixed in their minds with a determined resolution that they would not be subjected to go against the Nephites.” (Alma 47:6)

“And it came to pass that when it was night [Amalickiah] sent a secret embassy into the mount Antipas, desiring that the leader of those who were upon the mount, whose name was Lehonti, that he should come down to the foot of the mount, for he desired to speak with him.”
“And it came to pass that when Lehonti received the message he [would] not go down to the foot of the mount.”

Remember, he was “fixed in [his] mind with a determined resolution that they would not be subjected to go against the Nephites.”

“And it came to pass that Amalickiah sent again the second time, desiring him to come down. And it came to pass that Lehonti would not; and he sent again the third time.
“And it came to pass that when Amalickiah found that he could not get Lehonti to come down off from the mount, he went up into the mount, nearly to Lehonti's camp; and he sent again the fourth time his message unto Lehonti, desiring that he would come down, and that he would bring his guards with him.” (Alma 47:10 - 12)

John Bytheway points out here, that, being unable to convince Lehonti to come all the way down the mountain, Amalickiah entices him to “come down just a little.”* Lehonti gives into this enticement, and is convinced by the cunning and evil Amalickiah to take control of Amalickiah’s portion of the Lamanite army, and to appoint Amalickiah as second in command. Now, Lehonti’s feeling pretty good about this decision; he has gained command of the entire army and he’s feeling completely in control of the situation . . . right up until he dies, having been poisoned “by degrees” by a servant of Amalickiah.

Amalickiah, much like Satan, “… offers a strange mixture of just enough good to disguise the evil along his downward path to destruction.”... “Nephi, an ancient prophet, [described the process this way]:
“For behold, at that day shall he rage in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against that which is good.
“And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell” (2 Ne. 28:20–21). (Durrel A. Woolsey, “A Strategy for War,” Ensign, Nov 1995, 84)

Are there people like Amalickiah in our day, seeking to “stir [us] up to anger against that which is good”, or to “pacify, and lull [us] away into carnal security” all the while encouraging us to feel in control as we are slowly poisoned? Do we invite them into our homes, our cars, our schools? Do we watch, or listen to, or read their words?

Wendell Berry, a thoughtful contemporary writer on the family, has said: “TV and other media have learned to suggest with increasing subtlety … that it is better to consume than to produce, to buy than to grow or make, to ‘go out’ than to stay home. If you have a TV, your children will be subjected almost from the cradle to an overwhelming insinuation that all worth experiencing is somewhere else and that all worth having must be bought.” (The Gift of Good Land, San Francisco: North Point Press, 1981, p. 156.)

Doesn’t that sound like “pacify[ing], and lull[ing] . . . away into carnal security? Is that the message we want to send to our children and loved ones? Is that the “lull”aby we want them to associate with home and then to “sing” to their own children?

Elder Richard L. Evans has said: “Sometimes some parents mistakenly feel that they can relax a little as to conduct and conformity or take perhaps a so called liberal view of basic and fundamental things—thinking that a little laxness or indulgence won’t matter…. Some parents … seem to feel that they can ease up a little on the fundamentals without affecting their family or their family’s future. But,” he observed, “if a parent goes a little off course,”—coming down the mountain “just a little” –“ the children are likely to exceed the parent’s example.”

What can we do to safeguard ourselves and our families from the “Amalickiahs” of the world? How can we avoid “coming down the mountain just a little”?

We find answers to these questions as our story continues in Alma chapter 48.

“Now it came to pass that while Amalickiah had thus been obtaining power by fraud and deceit, Moroni, on the other hand, had been preparing the minds of the people to be faithful unto the Lord their God.
“Yea, he had been strengthening the armies of the Nephites, and erecting small forts, or places of resort; throwing up banks of earth round about to enclose his armies, and also building walls of stone to encircle them about, round about their cities and the borders of their lands; yea, all round about the land.
“And in their weakest fortifications he did place the greater number of men; and thus he did fortify and strengthen the land which was possessed by the Nephites.” (Alma 48:7-10).

Please note that Moroni’s preparations for protecting his people were two-fold: spiritual, “preparing the minds of the people to be faithful unto the Lord their God”; and physical, “strengthening the armies,” “erecting small forts, or places of resort,” “enclos[ing] his armies,” “building walls of stone”, and increasing the number of men at their weakest points.

Just as Moroni was guided and inspired to know how to spiritually and physically prepare and protect his people, we, as parents, as brothers and sisters, and as Latter-Day Saints have access to the same source of inspiration as we seek to protect ourselves and our loved ones from the “Amalickiahs” of our day.

M. Russell Ballard reminds us, “Nephi taught clearly that the Holy Ghost ‘is the gift of God unto all those who diligently seek him’ and that ‘he that diligently seeketh shall find’ (1 Ne. 10:17, 19). The stunning reality, my dear brothers and sisters, is that you control how close you are to the Lord. You determine just how clear and readily available promptings from the Holy Ghost will be. You determine this by your actions, by your attitude, by the choices you make, by the things you watch and wear and listen to and read, and by how consistently and sincerely you invite the Spirit into your life.”

In addition to the Holy Ghost, the Lord has blessed us with living prophets and apostles and other General authorities to provide counsel to us.

Elder Ballard teaches, “In today’s world, where 24 hours a day, television and radio commentators spew forth conflicting opinions, where marketers compete for everything from your money to your vote, there is one clear, unpolluted, unbiased voice that you can always count on. And that is the voice of the living prophet and the apostles. Their only motive is “the everlasting welfare of your souls” (2 Ne. 2:30).
He continues, “I make you a promise. It is a simple one, but it is true. If you will listen to the living prophet and the apostles and heed our counsel, you will not go astray.” (M. Russell Ballard, “Women of Righteousness,” Liahona, Dec. 2002)

Our living prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley, has advised us: “Use that most remarkable of all tools of communication, television, to enrich your [family’s] lives. There is so much that is good, but it requires selectivity.” (Ensign, Nov. 1975, p. 39.)

Elder Wirthlin advises: “Though we live in the world, we must not be of the world. For members of the Church, seeking the good is more than a lofty ideal. It is an obligation we accepted when we entered the waters of baptism; we renew it each time we partake of the sacrament” (Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Seeking the Good,” Ensign, May 1992)
He continues, “In a day when broadcasters and publishers have rather free access into our homes, we must seek clean, uplifting entertainment, whether on television, videos, movies, magazines, books, and other printed material. We should be very selective and choose only those things that meet the test of being virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy. If it is questionable, we should avoid it.” (Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Seeking the Good,” Ensign, May 1992)
“We can fill our lives with good, leaving no room for anything else. We have so much good from which to choose that we need never partake of evil.” (E. Wirthlin)

Elder David R. Stone states, “We can have our own standards for music and literature and dance and film and language. We can have our own standards for dress and deportment, for politeness and respect. We can live in accordance with the Lord’s moral laws. We can limit how much of Babylon we allow into our homes by the media of communication.”
“We do not need to become as puppets in the hands of the culture of the place and time. “
“Wherever we are, whatever city we may live in, we can build our own Zion by the principles of the celestial kingdom…. Our homes can be places which are a refuge and protection, as Zion is.” (David R. Stone, “Zion in the Midst of Babylon,” Ensign, May 2006, 90–93)

Brothers and Sisters, if we will heed the counsel of our Prophet and other leaders, if we will actively seek out and fill our lives with the “good” that is so abundant, and if we will hold to the standards and principles of the celestial kingdom, our children will benefit from the clear contrast between our example and that of the world. They will know that we know right from wrong. Indeed, our faith will become a “place of refuge” to which they can turn for protection from the influences of those who would lead them astray. Then they, like the Stripling Warriors of Moroni’s army, can say “We do not doubt our [parents know] it.” (Alma 56:48)

Jeffrey R. Holland has said, “If in matters of faith and belief children are at risk of being swept downstream by this intellectual current or that cultural rapid, we as their parents must be more certain than ever to hold to anchored, unmistakable moorings clearly recognizable to those of our own household….” And he warns, “…we can hardly expect the children to get to shore safely if the parents don’t seem to know where to anchor their own boat.”

Elder Durrel A. Woolsey teaches that some of these clear, “unmistakable moorings” include, “… daily individual and family prayers with a family home evening at least weekly.” He says, “You may say, “I don’t have time.” Brothers and sisters, you simply cannot afford not to take the time. It is amazing how much time suddenly becomes available with the television off. This prescription continues the same as it has always been—keep the commandments; follow the prophets; read, understand, and even ponder the scriptures.” (Durrel A. Woolsey, “A Strategy for War,” Ensign, Nov 1995, 84)

Brothers and Sisters, when Amalickiah’s armies showed up, ready for battle, they supposed that the Nephites would provide “easy prey.” Alma 49 verse 4 tells us, “But behold, how great was their disappointment; for behold, the Nephites had dug up a ridge of earth round about them, which was so high that the Lamanites could not cast their stones and their arrows at them that they might take effect, neither could they come upon them save it was by their place of entrance.” (Alma 49:4)

Think of that, . . . no one could come in to the Nephite lands and cities without the knowledge of the Nephites. Their fortifications were so strong, that the stones and the arrows – the weapons of the enemy -- could not “take effect.” There is a lesson there for us in making our physical preparations. We must do what we can to limit the ways that the “world” can enter our homes and lives so that the weapons of our enemy cannot take effect in our lives or the lives of our loved ones. Do not confuse our right to be selective about what we allow to enter our homes and places of security as censorship. As parents, and even as siblings, we have the responsibility to monitor our “place of entrance.”

Years ago, there was a man, who, late one night chose to watch a film about Jesus Christ’s life and His sacrifice. As he watched, he was moved to tears by the gratitude and love that he felt for his Savior. Afterward, he knelt and poured out his feelings of thankfulness to Heavenly Father. Years later, he found out that, unbeknownst to him, his young daughter had witnessed this scene from just beyond the door, and had been greatly influenced for good by her father’s example ever since. Think how different the outcome may have been had this father chosen to watch something that did not “meet the test of being virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy.”

Let us do all in our power to follow Moroni’s example in protecting ourselves and our loved ones from becoming “easy prey.” Let us do all we can spiritually to prepare our minds and the minds of those we love “to be faithful unto the Lord [our] God.” Let us take every physical preparation within our power to strengthen one another, and to build strong fortifications, that we may each find “places of security” where we can be safe from the stones and arrows, from the cunning and deceit, of those who seek our destruction. Let us never kid ourselves about being in control as we are ‘poisoned by degrees’, but let us stand firm on the Rock of our Redeemer making the choices that will allow Him to assure our deliverance and our triumph! In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.


(* I borrowed this insight, about coming down “just a little”, from John Bytheway.)

Pardon My Absence

Sorry, but I have to work on a talk for this Sunday. But I'll leave you with some food for thought that I found as I did my research.

• Wendell Berry, a thoughtful contemporary writer on the family, has said: “TV and other media have learned to suggest with increasing subtlety … that it is better to consume than to produce, to buy than to grow or make, to ‘go out’ than to stay home. If you have a TV, your children will be subjected almost from the cradle to an overwhelming insinuation that all worth experiencing is somewhere else and that all worth having must be bought.” (The Gift of Good Land, San Francisco: North Point Press, 1981, p. 156.)

• "If in matters of faith and belief children are at risk of being swept downstream by this intellectual current or that cultural rapid, we as their parents must be more certain than ever to hold to anchored, unmistakable moorings clearly recognizable to those of our own household…. No, we can hardly expect the children to get to shore safely if the parents don’t seem to know where to anchor their own boat." (Jeffrey R. Holland)

• "Nephi taught clearly that the Holy Ghost 'is the gift of God unto all those who diligently seek him' and that 'he that diligently seeketh shall find' (1 Ne. 10:17, 19). The stunning reality, my dear brothers and sisters, is that you control how close you are to the Lord. You determine just how clear and readily available promptings from the Holy Ghost will be. You determine this by your actions, by your attitude, by the choices you make, by the things you watch and wear and listen to and read, and by how consistently and sincerely you invite the Spirit into your life." (M. Russell Ballard)

Because I'm Tired of Looking at that Stupid Squirrel

Here are some pictures from last Saturday at our Primary Activity.

Ben with our Bishop -- they are great pals, even though Ben doesn't look very happy.
Brianna, just being cute!

No Matter What Patch Adams Thinks of the Furry Little Creatures

Dear Hamilton County Parks Folks,

I would like to thank you for your relatively prompt response to the report of the rabid squirrel at the children's playground in Sharon Woods. Though I did not see the foam, I hear that it was pouring out of the squirrel's mouth and that it was behaving rather agressively at times. When we arrived, the squirrel was several feet from the play area, so we (my friend and I) let our kids play on the playground, while keeping a close eye on the rabid little fellow.

When your Ranger showed up, accompanied by what appeared to be 5 landscaping employees, their only tool/weapon that they were wielding was a single shovel. (I promise not to tell PETA.) In order to protect our kids from the chase, violence and carnage that was about to ensue, my friend and I moved our little party to a picnic table about 20 yards away to eat our lunch.

Now, I'll admit here that my entire knowledge of rabies comes from the movie Old Yeller, but I feel compelled to tell you that based on my limited knowledge, I think that wasn't the only squirrel in your park with rabies. You see, when we sat down to eat, we were surrounded by three other squirrels who were not in the least bit afraid of us. They were fairly aggressive toward us, and were jumping up on our picnic table and coming at us. According to Old Yeller, that sort of unnatural behavior could be an early sign of rabies -- regardless of the lack of foam. They eventually ran us out of the park -- I suddenly felt a kinship with Patch Adams' roomie in the insane asylum!

So, I would just like to suggest that you either "put down" the squirrels, or you build a big pen, put them in it, and watch them closely. In the meantime, I'll be taking my meals INSIDE!

Thank you,

A Concerned Citizen

Random Thoughts

While most of my produce purchases are a gamble (ie, is it ripe? will it be sweet/flavorful? will I use it before it goes bad?) I do think I have a pretty reliable method for choosing yummy grapes. See, I have this conscience thing that won't let me taste the grapes without paying for them. But I have had very good success with the method I have developed. I never just pick up one of those pre-packed grape bags. Nope, I get my own produce bag, and then I methodically go through the pre-packed bags. I look for stems that look freshly cut, and still very green. When I find one, I pick up the bunch. If it is heavy (for it's size) and if the grapes are bunched closely, I find it worthy to go into my produce bag. There you have it. That's my secret for good grapes. Now, if I could just figure out how to choose good oranges, watermelons, and avacados. If you have any great methods for picking out other produce, I would love to hear it.

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Since Father's Day, I've had this thought rolling around in my brain: Why is it that you never hear a man say, "Oh, I just hate Father's Day! Just one more reminder of how I never measure up." No, when I think of men and Father's Day, I hear in my mind Tim the Tool Man Taylor's manly grunts, followed by images of barbeques and power tools. I'm afraid in this respect, I may have to echo Henry Higgins' sentiment, "Why can't a woman be more like a man?" Ladies, it's time for us to see Mother's Day simply as a day to receive gifts and pampering -- who cares what the reason behind it is??

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I hate how the chocolate bar in a s'more never melts. That's why I bought a tub of chocolate frosting when we went camping. I frosted one graham cracker, toasted my marshmallow, and made it into a fabulous s'more!!

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How is it possible that the one time I actually go and do something with my neighbor, we are run out of the park by rabid squirrels?? Seriously.

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Next Fourth of July, my family and I will be at the annual Crowley Family shin-dig!! I can't wait! It has been waaaay toooo loooooooong!

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Is there a healthy snack out there that is sweet, chocolatey -- preferrably with peanut butter-- and crunchy?? I sure could use it if there is. (I don't mean your $150 chocolate, sorry Mom).

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I did my first Pilates DVD work-out yesterday. The DVD instructed me not to begin a workout less than 3-4 hours after a meal, nor less than 1-2 hours after a snack. That pretty much eliminates my options. . . . Oh well, I tried.

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I wonder if anyone who reads this will share any of their random thoughts with me.? I hope they do; it's nice to hear from you all!

Ben's History with Water

Perhaps it is in his genes. I harbor fears of the water myself, but Ben seemed to take his fears to a whole new level. Who ever heard of a toddler who hated taking baths? -- who would scream and tremble as if he were facing his imminent death? Well, that was Ben. So, from the time that he was a very little tyke, Ben has taken showers.

Two years ago, and by direction of a previously mentioned Pediatrician (who happens to be on my list of "Least Favorite People"), we enrolled Ben in swim lessons in order to "cure" him of this fear. It was a disaster. He hated it. I have a very vivid memory of forcing a kicking, screaming, scratching, hair-pulling, biting kid, dressed only in a diaper, into his car seat to take him to swim lessons. At that point, we had decided that we couldn't just let him throw a fit and get out of something. So, we told him that he had to go, but he didn't have to do anything he wasn't comfortable doing. We spent a lot of time near the edge of the pool that summer, watching his classmates learning water skills.


There was NO way I was going to sign Ben up for swim lessons again any time soon. So, it came as a great surprise this last Spring, when Ben asked if he could take swim lessons. I signed him up right away.


It was at a different location this time, and things were run much differently. This time, parents were instructed to wait at an area far away from the pool, and the kids were left alone with their instructors.


Day one, the lady in charge of all of the different classes finds me in the parents area and asks, "Are you Ben's mom?" Here we go . . ., I thought. "He's not doing too well. We finally just got him to go into the pool, but he's really fighting it, and crying. We'll keep trying, and I'll let you know how things go." Well, they didn't get much better that day.


After his first swim lesson, I was treated to hours and hours of Ben telling me how much he hated it; asking me, accusingly, why I would sign him up for swim lessons; and stubbornly telling me that he won't participate.


For Family Home Evening that night, we had a lesson on perspective. We talked about how changing our perspective can change our experience. I explained in no uncertain terms that he was going back to swim lessons and that it might be in his best interest to change his perspective so that he might have fun. He explained that he didn't think that he could do that on his own. I asked him if he would like a blessing. He said, "Yes."


Ben received a beautiful blessing that evening from his Daddy. He was told how much he was loved; how talented he was; and he was reminded that he can always pray to his Heavenly Father if he is ever scared or worried.


The next day, we got up, readied ourselves, and headed to swim lessons. We hit some bad traffic on the way, and Ben said, "I hope this traffic doesn't clear up until after swim lessons." Dreading a full week of this attitude, I said a quick prayer for patience, and reminded Ben about changing his perspective and also about his blessing. We arrived on time to swim lessons, and he reluctantly went with his teacher and class to the pool.


Eventually, the lady who had spoken to me on the first day, found me and said that he was doing much better, and even appeared to be having some fun!


After his second lesson, Ben returned to me grinning. As I hugged him, I whispered in his ear, "Did you remember to pray?" He said, "I had soo much fun, I didn't even need to pray!!"

Each day his enjoyment grew, to the point that he was reluctant to leave the water when his lessons were done! He can put his whole head under water!! He is loving it!!

And that, my friends, is our modern day miracle! In fact, he wants to take a second session of lessons this summer!

If You Could Put Summer In A Bowl, It Would Taste Like This . . .

Mexican Dip

2 cans black beans, drained
2 cans chopped tomatoes, drained
1-2 bunches green onions, chopped
1 bunch cilantro, chopped
1-4 bell peppers (red, orange, or yellow)
2 avacados
1 small bottle of Catalina salad dressing
1 tsp. fresh garlic
1 tsp. salt

Mix together and serve with tortilla chips! MMmmmm! Enjoy your tasty summer!

(recipe comes from James' sisters!)

A True Family Celebration!

We were so priviledged to have Brianna's birthmom and birthgrandma come a long way to celebrate Brianna's first birthday with us. They are both so wonderful. They are kind and gracious, and oh-so-fun! It was great to see them again in person. We enjoyed having them here and truly consider them as part of our family. In fact, don't you think we look like family??

Brianna enjoyed all of the attention, and was very adorable. She interacted happily with them . . . so long as it was on her terms. She is such a happy little soul, and I think that it showed. I am so grateful that they had the chance to see sweet Brianna in person, because pictures and my descriptions can never do her justice. I will always treasure their visit, and I know it will come to mean a great deal to Brianna, as well.


Brianna, after pouring strawberry lemonade all down her front, and just before her birthday cake.

Obviously, this would be after the cake which she thoroughly enjoyed!

There is so much more to say regarding what this day meant to me and how blessed I feel, but words seem to be failing me at the moment! So, for now I will say, Thank you, again, Adrianne, for your selfless sacrifice! Thank you Cindy for supporting your daughter in her difficult decision! And thank you, God, for orchestrating this beautiful miracle in our lives!

Father's Day 2007

To my Dad: Thank you for buying Trix cereal and Wonder bread when you would go shopping. It balanced out the "green drinks" and the alfalfa pills. Thank you for not being afraid to show affection or emotion. Thank you for not wringing my neck when it may have been OH-SO-TEMPTING! Thank you for helping me to clean the carpet in that nasty old apartment in Provo, and then helping me to get out of the lease! Thank you for fixing and organizing so many things for me and my family. Thank you for your steady testimony and your example in my life. I love you! Happy Father's Day!

To my Father-in-law: Thank you for waiting outside for me the very first time I ever drove to your home in Vernal. Thank you for driving all the way across the country with us to help us move. Thank you for helping to extend the wall in our kitchen. Thank you for accepting me as one of your own children. Thank you for your generosity. Thank you for raising such great kids -- especially for the one I married! I love you! Happy Father's Day!

To my sweet husband: Thank you for loving me always. Thank you for balancing me, and helping me to see things more clearly. Thank you for your unfailing support in anything that I ever even dream of doing. Thank you for your humor and for your honesty. Thank you for loving our children so much; For your patience with them and your affection to them. Thank you for your testimony and love of the Lord. I love you! Happy Father's Day!

Birthday Girl!

What a beautiful baby! What a wonderful year!

I love:

her cute little folded arms for prayers.

how she signs "please" when she wants something.

how she "talks" on the phone.

her attempts at "amen" at the end of prayers, and "hello" when she has the phone to her ear.

how she hugs her Daddy, her brother, and myself.

how she loves her baby dolls!

how she loves necklaces and bracelets.

how she is so smart that the child-proof locks for the cupboards are no challenge to her.

her smile!

that she lets me sleep at night!

her beautiful eyes!

how she loves to wear her 'girly' shoes.

her laugh!

Brianna is truly a Joy! Thank you, God, and thank you Brianna's birthmom, for blessing my life and my family with this little angel!!