My Kids Love Me, ... I Think

Ben: Mom, you know how "hot" means really pretty?
Me: Yes
Ben: Well, you're warm.

*******

Loudly, in the middle of Target:
Brianna: I'm going to be a better parent than you!!!  I'm going to let MY kids do WHATEVER THEY WANT!!
Me:  Oh, good.  Then you won't have ANY problems.

*******

A Page from Ben's Creative Writing Notebook

Once upon a boring time in a boring village, boring people lived.  Now, it wasn't that the people didn't want to change the village, it was the King who liked it boring. 

Years later, the people had a boring war against the king and his followers.  Pencil against pencil; math quiz against math quiz.  As they wrote they yelled out    "3 + 3 = 6"! or "5 - 3 = 2"! 

They fought like this until the King was stumped and the people got their freedom and they all (except for the King) lived excitingly ever after.

Stake Conference

While we were priviledged to have Elder Kikuchi as our visiting authority, this is what I heard:

Is it over yet?
How much longer?
Is it almost done?
I'm hungry.
I need to go to the bathroom.
When will it be done?
I'm thirsty.
I need to go to the bathroom again.
Can I have more snacks?
Can we just go home?

Pretty much the same thing I hear whenever Brianna and I head ANYWHERE in the car together. Gosh I love that little girl!!!!!! Truly, I do!

We Finished!

We tried it again. This time, beautiful weather on a paved course. James ran the 10k and came in 2nd in his age division!
The kids and I walked the 5k. (We ran occasionally, but only enough to remind me that I haven't been exercising and that my cardiovascular system has forgotten what it means to kick it up a notch.) I haven't worried so much about training to run, ever since James said that you burn the same amount of calories walking a 5k as you do running a 5k.
The kids are pretty happy with their awesome medals! Ben came in 5th in his age division, and Brianna came in 6th in hers!
I came in 3rd in my division. However, that would be attributed to the fact that there were only 3 in my division. (I hope you weren't drinking right then, or it may have squirted out your nose.)
Comments during the race:
Ben: I know why they plan these races so early in the morning: to ruin your breakfast.
Brianna: Why are they making us do this?
Ben: (As we are being passed by a running Grandma-type) That GRANDMA is in better shape than us!
This morning, Ben told me he wants to do another 5k! I was hoping he'd catch the bug.

P.S. I'd like to thank James for cropping the picture somewhat. I told the kids I would carry their drinks for them, but I had to wear a giant fanny pack to do it. Well, in the picture the black of the fanny pack blended into my dark pants and made me look like I was wearing a giant blue diaper!

Random...

Questions
*If a "smart phone" is SO smart, why didn't it call me when I put it in the washing machine?
*Why don't below freezing temperatures kill weeds, instead of crops?

News
*The birthday party was a success! ... I think.
*I placed my VERY CLEAN phone in a bowl of uncooked rice for about three days, paid my tithing, and it works again!!

Pictures with explanations/stories
James is training for a half-marathon. He signed up to run a 5k the morning of Ben's birthday. I, ever so smartly, thought, "hey, the kids and I could walk the 5k, rather than just sit around waiting to cheer James on as he crosses the finish line. And it would be something healthy we could do as a family!" Great thinking, right?
Well, in my defense, it could have been a great family activity. Unfortunately, it had rained a bunch, and was still raining. As we left the house, we thought, "o.k., rain. That's no big deal. We can walk in rain." However, when we arrived we found that the 5k track was unpaved. It went around some planted fields, and the mud was like clay. It was truly SO HEAVY. And slippery.
Well, I realized that I had to make a choice, knowing that how ever I chose to handle this situation, it would teach my kids a lesson (whether positive or negative). So, I acknowledged that it was muddy and gross, but that we could do it. The mud didn't change the distance, and we knew we could do the distance. Ok, so technically the mud didn't change the distance, but walking with 10lb weights on each foot did change the dynamic. So, while James did run the 5k, and actually came in 3rd in his division, the kids and I finished approximately a 3k, and were very proud of ourselves for doing that. As we walked to the car, the mud finally won and actually sucked Ben's shoe right off of his foot! He was very upset, and complained that it was the "worst birthday of his entire life". We tried to help him to understand that, while it had been pretty miserable, it was only an hour out of his life, and besides, his day could only get better from there!
At the end of the day, Brianna asked Ben if his birthday had been terrible, and he said that it had been great, except for one hour. :)
Here is Ben, at the abandoned soccer field, with one of his "treasures" that he found in the garbage can.
Here is the rickety old swingset that our backdoor neighbors gave us when we moved in. It was so rickety, and Brianna swings so hard and high, that I was always worried that the joints would finally come apart, and the big bar would fall on her sweet head. (The whole thing would swing from side to side as she swung back and forth.) So, I listed it on CraigsList for free to whomever would come and haul it away. I called it a "vintage metal swingset". You would never believe how many calls I had for that baby. I even disclosed that it was very rickety. It was gone within 48 hours!
And, last but not least, I sent the kids upstairs to change their clothes the other day. When they came back down, they had indeed changed their clothes. Ben changed into Brianna's clothes, and Brianna changed into Ben's clothes. It's hard living with a house full of comedians! :)

I'm not ignoring you ...

it's just that I put my phone through the washing machine.

Good thing it was only an iPhone, right?

I Seem to Have More Issues than Time magazine

I am having major birthday party anxiety. Ben's birthday party is coming up this Saturday.

A couple of years ago, when we were still pretty new here, and Ben was having trouble adjusting, I decided to throw a Star Wars themed just-for-fun party for him and some boys from school and the neighborhood. It was AWFUL!! Two guests showed up. That is fine with me, except for these two decided that ANY planned game or activity was STUPID and BORING, and were VERY RUDELY VOCAL ABOUT IT.

Next, came Ben's birthday party. Well, after that fiasco, I wasn't about to be responsible for another party FLOP, so we planned it at Chuck-E-Cheese's. Perfect for a seven-year-old birthday party, right? NONE, I repeat, NONE of the invited guests showed up. We literally ended up recruiting a kid from our ward, a younger sister of one of Ben's friends, and some dear friends who happened to already be at Chuck-E-Cheese's for a birthday party which had just ended, to be Ben's "guests". It was great that they stepped in and helped to save the day. It sucked that none of the friends he had invited came. I felt just sick inside.

So, last year, we planned it at Banana's Fun Park, with laser tag, bumper boats, mini golf, etc. We did have a great turn out, and I think everyone had fun. It cost a small fortune, and I had anxiety the whole time, because I kept worrying that I'd lose a kid. Fortunately, we did not lose anyone.

This year, Ben decided that he wants to take his friends to a movie and then have pizza, cake and ice cream and open presents. He has had three RSVPs. Two can't come, one will miss the first half of the party. I'm worried about getting to the movie with everyone, including the best friend, who is the guy coming late. I'm worried that maybe the movie will stink. I'm worried that no one except the late best friend will be coming. I'm worried that if I hear how STUPID or BORING anything is, I might lose it. Mostly I'm worried that Ben is going to have another birthday party FLOP, and that my poor birthday party planning skills are going to scar him for life.

(Btw, one of the fiends, oh, I mean friends, that he handed an invitation to, wadded it up and threw it away without even reading it. Now, I know this kid, and honestly, he seems nice. But seriously, even if he didn't mean to hurt feelings, that is just plain MEAN. Ben handled it well, He got the invitation out of the garbage, smoothed it out, took it out of the envelope with that boy's name on it, and gave it to a different friend.)

So, do you think I can get a prescription for xanax just for party situations?

The Next Thomas Edison? Thomas Jefferson? Einstein?

The other day, Ben's soccer game was cancelled due to rain and wind. James and Ben were already at the park, which was hastily evacuated by everyone else. They practiced soccer together for a while, and then, Ben began checking the garbage cans around the fields. He found two umbrellas that had been blown inside out and destroyed by the storm, and therefore abandoned to the trash. Ben claimed them as his own, as he explained to his dad, "you can get good things by looking in trash cans." One man's trash, is Ben's treasure!

Brianna's 3am Prayer

After beginning, "please keep me safe from monsters, and bad guys, and ... um, ... pirates. And, um, .... Mom, what udder bad fings are in this world?"
I told her I thought she'd pretty much covered it. She wasn't satisfied, so I helped her pray for safety from anything that would scare or hurt her. She also asked for angels to watch over her. Afterward, she said she knew there were bad guys, because one of them had killed a policeman. This she picked up from a 30 second news sound byte on the radio a week or so ago.
Then, she was satisfied that there were angels in her room, watching over her, and she was able to go back to sleep.

Some random videos for your enjoyment.

Gymnastics Song

First of all, when I arrived to pick Brianna up from pre-school today, she was busy shooting baskets outside. Her teacher informed me that "She's Jimmer today."

(Jimmer Fredette)

So, on the way home, Brianna says to me, "Do you want to hear a song?"

"Sure!"

"It's a gymnastics song. It goes like this:
I want to be good at gymnastics!
I have to work very hard,
Like Jimmer.
I want to be good at soccer
oh Yeah!"

Her daddy will be so proud!