A Silly Poem

Sometimes we wish
we had a third hand
To help to accomplish
All our demands.

But listen to me
And soon you will see
All of the trouble
That third hand would be.

When your friend desires
A big party to host,
She'll ask for your hands,
Because you've got the most.

When working the garden
Your spouse will want you.
For your hands can dig,
And plant, and water it too.

At Church you will serve
In the Nursery, no doubt.
At once you give snacks,
Wipe tears, and wipe snouts.

Oh wait just one minute!
We already do!
We do help, and dig, and wipe!
And we do it with TWO!


So, what would you do differently if you did have a third hand? (And, as long as we're pretending, pretend that that wouldn't be weird.)

An Over-Due Talk, Answers, and a Card

So, I spoke with Kiefer Sutherland last night. I decided it was time. I let him know that I'm just going to have to give up watching 24. I just don't think I can handle it anymore. He hugged me, and let me know that if I buy the entire season on DVD, I can adjust the settings and ratchet down the violence. At the time, I was very grateful for this information.

However, when I woke up, I was really kind of disgusted that he was advertising in my dream.

Besides, I'm pretty sure it was false advertising.

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I have very smart readers! You figured out most of Brianna's songs. Here are the answers:

My Heavenly Father Loves Me

Love Is Spoken Here

Teach Me to Walk

Silent Night (it took me a looong time to figure out which song she meant by this. It's at the end of the third verse!)

Good job!

*******

Ben made me this Christmas Card this morning! It was so sweet!

I love the spellings, and, honestly, how many people are thoughtful enough to include a picture of the recipient??

Name That Tune

Brianna has a way of creating unique titles for the songs that she loves. See if you can figure out what songs these are. Most of them are Primary songs, one is a familiar hymn (though not usually sung at this time of year).

Blue, Blue Sky
Crystal Clear
Gladly
Grace

I wanted to post the answers upside-down in the lower right-hand corner, but I didn't want any of you hurting yourselves trying to stand on your heads to read, so I'll post the answers later.

Many Pointless Tidbits and Some Arbitrary Fun Photos

*My mom thinks I'm not posting enough.

*Brianna likes to chase after the bus, after it pulls away with Ben onboard.

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*The bus driver gets VERY nervous about Brianna's enthusiasm.

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*Ben is a very tough American Idol judge.

*We sort of, accidentally, bought a California King sized mattress at an auction.

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*Someone is coming this evening to purchase and take away our old bedroom set. (Frankly, we'd be happy if they'd just take it away -- at least the mattress/boxsprings.)

*Can you tell these two are cousins??

*Yesterday was my sister and her husband's birthday. I hope they got the e-card, because I didn't call. What a rotten sister I am!

*Pocketful of Sunshine, by Natasha Beddingfield, is my current favorite song!

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*My kids and I like to blast it in the morning and dance around the living room!

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*James is so patient and kind with me.

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*My whole family is gathering for a Thanksgiving Extravaganza Weekend this year!

*Did you know that the Church has a whole bunch of PANDEMIC information on its Provident Living page?

*I figure if I have to worry about the pandemic now, you do too!

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*Our Family Home Evening was on the pandemic, and then for our activity, we went and got flu shots!

*Really, we did.

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*I think our robin that lives in our tree is little strange -- I'll share more later.

*Brianna sniffed a plastic BB up her nose last Sunday -- good thing James is an ENT!

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*I don't know what to call this post, I've really over-used "random".

Random, Random, and More Random

****Yesterday, Brianna followed me into the bathroom (not uncommon). I asked her to please close the door. She said, "You want pri-cy? Okay." And she shut the door so we were both in the bathroom. Maybe more lessons on what "privacy" means are in order.

****Today is Ben's class Valentine party. I signed up at the beginning of the year to help with all class parties, but I was never contacted for this one. I guess I'll just show up and help where I can.

****I'm making my deeee-licious Never-Fail Sugar Cookies today! Mmmmmm! Pretend that I'm giving each of you one of these perfectly baked, beautiful cookies with pink frosting and Valentine sprinkles, and a fun Valentine just for you.

**** I need to clean my bathrooms before my guests arrive.

****I looooove my iRobot Roomba vaccuum. In fact, I'm vaccuuming my living room at this very moment. If I were as wealthy as Oprah, I'd buy each of you one, just because.

****Ben was very cute about the valentines for his classmates. He, of course, chose Star Wars valentines, and then he chose each classmate's valentine carefully. It was very cute.

****Ben and Brianna each decorated the Valentine's for their grandparents. It was very cute. Brianna draws balloons really well, and both cards are well decorated with balloons and hearts. I'm not sure what Ben wrote, but I'm looking forward to hearing what he wrote.

****Brianna was a fun companion yesterday! She kept saying, "You're so cute, Mommy." "That's a cute shirt, Mommy." "You're so cute with your hair, Mommy." Boy, I need that kind of constant reassurance. Thanks Brianna.

****I made up a song for Brianna. It's to the chorus of the tune of "Tomorrow" from the movie Annie. It goes like this: "Brianna, Brianna, I love ya, Brianna! You're always a Joy to me!" She loves it.

****Ben wants his own song too, but he's a little more picky. He's shot down the two songs I've tried so far. I'm still working on it. Wish me luck.

****I guess I better go clean those bathrooms!

****Happy Early Valentine's Day, Everybodeeee!!

Benjaminisms

Ben has been asking some deep questions lately. Questions like:

****"Mom, do you really feel heaven 'close around you as you pray'?"

****"Why did Heavenly Father make boys and girls different?" And then, after some cursory explanation, "Ya, but, why did He make boy's and girl's parts different? Like why did He make girl's boobs looooonger?"

****"Why would Heavenly Father ever put any of His children into Spirit Prison?"

****"Mom, do you think that I'm holding to the rod?"

Ben keeps us on our toes. He does not accept answers that are meant to put him off. He is sincere in his desires to know, and his understanding is far beyond his years. He's a wonderful kid.

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Another Ben story:

We had a friend of his over one afternoon. His friend must have had a rough day, because he was whining and crying easily. I had let them play video games for an hour, and then I had them turn it off, and do something else. After they had played with some toys for a while, his friend brought another video game to me and begged to have more time to play video games. I told him that he could play it next time he came.

He shouted accusingly at me, "Why did you let us find it, if you won't let us play it?!" Surprised, I answered, "Well, first of all, I didn't hide it. And second of all, you've already played video games for an hour. You can play that game next time."

He began sobbing, and ran up the stairs. Ben, who had been witness to this interchange, watched his friend storm up the stairs, and then turned to me and said, "Well, ... that was unexpected."

BEWARE OF ... turtles?

Apparently weird dreams run in the family. Last night, Brianna awoke very upset. As I tried to get her to tell me what was wrong, all she could manage to say was, "Light dirty" as she pointed to her night light; and "turtles in my room." Sounds pretty scary, eh?

Brianna and The Spirit of Revelation Lesson

Brianna is a strange mixture of fierce independence and an anxious need to be right by me. This morning as we walked Ben to the bus stop, she once again did as she nearly always does: when it came time to cross the street, she held her own hand. This behavior began months ago, as we tried to impress upon her the importance to "hold a hand" when it's time to cross the street. Apparently, we should have been more specific as to whose hand it is acceptable to hold. Unfortunately, she believes that she is fulfilling the requirement by holding her own hand. It is incredibly cute, but very unsafe as she has no concept of when it is safe to cross the street. I have given up, for the most part, trying to force her to hold my hand, because she always ends up in a crying, screaming heap in the middle of the road. Instead, I do my best to stay right next to her, often trying to get a hand on her coat or something. If she senses my touch, she gets very upset.


On the other hand, when I am getting ready in my bathroom, with the door locked, she is almost always right at the door, knocking, sticking her cute little fingers under the door, confirming my progress, and sometimes kicking the door and screaming to be let in (which was the case today.)

This afternoon, I was working on my lesson for this Sunday, and two scriptures jumped out at me, along with these clear images of Brianna.


The first: Doctrine and Covenants section 112, verse 10: Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayer.


The second: Doctrine and Covenants section 6, verse 5: Therefore, if you will ask of me you shall receive; if you will knock it shall be opened unto you.


As I pondered on these scriptures and on these interactions with Brianna today, I wondered how often am I like Brianna, with an "I do it MYSELF" attitude, when the Lord is right by my side, wanting to give me direction and to protect me.


Then, I thought of how I really was in no hurry to open my bathroom door to Brianna today. She was really adamant about coming in, and I really wanted to get ready without having to get after her to get out of my closet, and get out of the tub, and stop playing with this and with that. So, when I read that scripture, I thought, "Great, I'm not teaching her that if she knocks it will be opened unto her." But then, several other thoughts came tumbling out: The Lord opens doors on His timetable, not ours. Do I approach communication with my Heavenly Father and Savior with as much tenacity as Brianna approaches my bathroom door? Brianna is so persistent, I almost always let her into the bathroom before I am actually ready; I know there's some scripture story of a judge giving a lady what she wanted, simply to stop her asking. That could be good, or that could be bad (Martin Harris and the 116 pages of manuscript.)


I think I am a two and a half-year old, spiritually speaking. I am, at times, fiercely independent, "I do it MYSELF!" And, at other times, I feel that anxious need to be right by my Heavenly Father's side. I hope that I can learn to be humble and take the Lord's hand and allow Him to lead me, where and when He will. I hope also that I can be tenacious in my communication with my Father in Heaven, that when I knock, He will open, and hopefully I will be ready for what's on the other side.

Rerun: Why I Will Never Be Translated

Many moons ago, we purchased a small bucket of plastic frogs at the dollar store as part of a birthday gift to one of Ben's little friends. We did not realize until later the true treasure we had found. As I went to wrap it, I started to read the outside of the bucket to James. We took turns passing it back and forth, reading different parts, and laughing until our sides ached and tears were streaming down our faces.
It was made in China, and there is no doubt that it was also translated into English in China as well. Needless to say, the kid never received this part of the gift! We decided we couldn't part with something that provided that much entertainment. Now, maybe we were a bit tired, or overstressed, but even now I still find it funny. I'll let you decide for yourselves.

Here is how the bucket reads:

The best game for partents with children!

JUMPING FROG

Enjoy all your family!

Suitable for age of over 3

• Draw a line or mark far a distance from starting point. Jump frogs at starting point. The one makes frogs jumping over the line or mark is the winner.

THE OTHER PLAYING WAY:

• Jump frogs far away at the same position. The farest is the winner (to identify owned frogs by colors).

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Except the attached drum, you may use other vessel to play, such as cup, jar, box, ladle, pot, bowl, basket ... etc. The vessel should not be too large. The smaller vessel you use the more interest you get.
2. After playing a couple of times, you will be skilled to control the exactly jumping distance and position.

LET'S TRY!

Jump frogs into drum from a distance.

MADE IN CHINA

Let me just interject that if I ever had to translate anything into Chinese, it would either provide hours of entertainment to the Chinese, or it would start WWIII. I promise I am not trying to pick a fight with the Chinese, . . . afterall, I am a partent with children!

P.S. It is much more funnier to be read aloud. : )

Rerun: Have I Benchud How Buch I Hate Codes?

Whed I ca't breed out of by dose, I go crazy. I would rather dot talk, because if I do, I ab boud to have to repeat, because dobody cad uderstad.

Cad you relate?

Translation: "Have I Mentioned How Much I Hate Colds?"

When I can't breathe out of my nose, I go crazy. I would rather not talk, because if I do, I am bound to have to repeat, because nobody can understand.

Can you relate?