Why I Will Never Be Translated . . .

Many moons ago, we purchased a small bucket of plastic frogs at the dollar store as part of a birthday gift to one of Ben's little friends. We did not realize until later the true treasure we had found. As I went to wrap it, I started to read the outside of the bucket to James. We took turns passing it back and forth, reading different parts, and laughing until our sides ached and tears were streaming down our faces.

It was made in China, and there is no doubt that it was also translated into English in China as well. Needless to say, the kid never received this part of the gift! We decided we couldn't part with something that provided that much entertainment. Now, maybe we were a bit tired, or overstressed, but even now I still find it funny. I'll let you decide for yourselves.

Here is how the bucket reads:

The best game for partents with children!

JUMPING FROG

Enjoy all your family!

Suitable for age of over 3

• Draw a line or mark far a distance from starting point. Jump frogs at starting point. The one makes frogs jumping over the line or mark is the winner.

THE OTHER PLAYING WAY:

• Jump frogs far away at the same position. The farest is the winner (to identify owned frogs by colors).

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Except the attached drum, you may use other vessel to play, such as cup, jar, box, ladle, pot, bowl, basket ... etc. The vessel should not be too large. The smaller vessel you use the more interest you get.
2. After playing a couple of times, you will be skilled to control the exactly jumping distance and position.

LET'S TRY!

• Jump frogs into drum from a distance.

MADE IN CHINA

Let me just interject that if I ever had to translate anything into Chinese, it would either provide hours of entertainment to the Chinese, or it would start WWIII. I promise I am not trying to pick a fight with the Chinese, . . . afterall, I am a partent with children!

P.S. It is much more funnier to be read aloud. : )

One of My Favorite Things

I never thought that I would buy anything from an infomercial. Ever.



Then, one Saturday as I was watching TV and folding laundry, an infomercial for ProActiv (http://www.proactiv.com) came on. There was nothing else on, so I watched as I folded. As I watched, I began to have hope that I wouldn't always have flaming red facial skin, full of pimples. I had gone to several Dermatologists who had diagnosed me (just by looking at me) with Rosacea. They all prescribed the same stupid medicine, metrogel, or metrolotion, or something. Stupid, because it did absolutely nothing to help clear up this condition.

Before

When James began his residency, this condition worsened considerably -- must be affected by stress. I had become so self-conscious about my very red, very broken out face that I had become withdrawn. I didn't want to go out.

Before

So, when I saw this infomercial, and began to have hope, I called and ordered the product. When it arrived, I remember thinking, "Well, here goes nothin'." I had tried so many products. Some of them even seemed to work . . . for a short while. So, when my face cleared up within a month, I was very happy, but wondered if it could truly last. It has been about three years now, and I am still thrilled with this product! I will never regret calling that number, or ordering this great product! That decision literally changed my life. I now have a confidence of which I had never dreamed.

After

P.S. - I'm not even getting paid for this endorsement!

My Only Regret Is That You'll Never Hear the Tune

Ben makes up songs all of the time. Truly, there is probably at least one new song created each day. Yesterday, Ben was singing a great song about soldiers. James tried to record the song, but Ben wasn't comfortable with that. He did, however, let James write down the lyrics. This took a while, as Ben would get carried away, singing, and James would not be able to keep up. Ben had to sing his song about three different times, and, of course, it changed a bit each time.

Here are the lyrics as they were written:

These people were children.

They grew up to be these warriors.

Then they got passed to be the troops

and they are going to fight in this History!

And now they are fighting for themselves and their families.

These people do what they are supposed to do.

And they always know to look for the flags that show that that's their armies!

They're like the Stripling Warriors,

Only they know what the Stripling Warriors know.

If you choose to learn this song, remember that it is always sung best while marching up and down the hallway. It is to be sung loudly, and boldly!

My Babies Are Growing Up

Ben with his graduation cap and certificate! What a cutie!

This was taken Sunday, after Church, hence the suit. What a handsome boy!

Ben wouldn't smile, so I smashed chocolate all in my teeth, and grinned at him. This was the result!

Brianna has developed a love for her shoes. This shows her trying to put on one of her shoes after it had fallen off. She is so smart. She opened the velcro, and lifted her foot up to try to put it on!

My Baby is WALKING!! We snapped this picture of her standing, because she's been doing so much of that lately, and then, suddenly, she was walking across the room to me! She is amazing! She is so steady on her feet already!

Aaaahhh! Vacation.

Warning: If you do not like travelogs, do not read this. However, this is my blog, and I wanted to record my memories of this vacation so far. Read on if you want to, but remember that I warned you! : )

James' vacation began last Friday when he returned home from work. We were too tired to really do anything that night, although Ben had been in "Vacation Party" mode all day. I asked Ben if we shouldn't wait to have the party until James came home. He promptly replied, "No! I'll be in bed by then." Wise kid. He was right. He organized a treasure hunt, created an invisible pinata filled with invisible candy, and gathered all of these "presents" for Daddy.

Saturday morning, we got up and readied ourselves to go to Opening day at the waterpark to which we have season passes. It was cold! The sun only peeked through the clouds for literally like 5 seconds while we were there, and the water is not heated.

Well, despite the freezing cold day, and the freezing cold water, Ben made a break-through! He was out there playing! He wasn't clinging to us, or begging us to be right there with him. He was enjoying himself, and kept wandering farther and farther into the water. At one point, I jokingly said to James, who had only ventured in up to his ankles, "So, if he runs into trouble out there, are we going to send the lifeguard after him?" To which my witty husband replied, "Of course! He's getting paid to go into this cold water!" Thankfully, Ben returned to us just fine. We then heard about the "warm" water and headed there. I think it was just in time, Ben's lips were starting to turn blue from the cold. After warming up in the water for about an hour, we left.

James took us to Walmart, where he purchased a bicycle for me, and a seat for Brianna to put on the back of his bike. Mind you, I hadn't ridden a bike since I wrecked for the um-teenth time as a child and decided that I just wasn't cut out for it.

That evening, a dear friend from Columbus came all the way down to watch our kids for us, while we got away for the night. We rented a hotel room, and enjoyed our first over-night get-away since Ben was born. It was wonderful! And we are sooooo grateful for our wonderful friend.

She brought her nephew with her to play with Ben. They had a blast. They even caught a bird in our backyard and played with it for about an hour and a half. They built a nest for it, and had great fun feeling like they were pet-owners.

The next day, Ben found the same poor bird in our back-yard again. He played with it for about an hour again. I felt so bad for the bird. I was unsure if it was injured, or just too young to fly. That mystery was solved when I watched it jump off of our deck and make its way across our lawn to its' Mommy. It was heart-wrenching. This poor mama robin had obviously been nearby watching her poor baby get manhandled by a well-meaning boy. I swear they kissed when they reached each other, and then the mama immediately started catching bugs and feeding them to her hungry, traumatized baby.

Speaking of mama's feeding their babies, Brianna absolutely refused to take a bottle from my friend. She ate everything else well, but apparently, bottles are to be kept within the family. Soon after we returned, she gulped down a bottle while on my lap! What a doll!

On Monday, we decided to go camping. It sure takes a lot of gear to go "rough it". We spent hours gathering and packing our supplies and food. (Somehow we forgot the camera, darn it!) Finally we set off to the campground at a nearby park. We set up our tent, and roasted hotdogs for dinner. We were visited by a racoon at our site that night. Luckily, I had seen him just before dusk, so we wisely packed all of our food into the trunk of our car. But that didn't deter him from looking.

With all of the bugs and dirt, Ben kept saying, "Why did Daddy want to go camping?" and "Why did Daddy think this was a good idea?" When James slapped at a mosquito in the evening, Ben made a bee-line to the tent. The next morning, however, Ben had a great time catching all of the daddy-long-legs that were crawling all over the outside of our tent! And later, when his little feet were just black, he announced that "Boys are supposed to get dirty!" I guess he adjusted pretty quickly.


For breakfast, James cooked pancakes and sausage on our campstove. I love eating a pancake breakfast outside in the morning. It's just refreshing! Then we broke camp. Brianna fell asleep right before we were to take down the tent, so while she napped, we played UNO at the picnic table.

After she woke up, we went for a family bike ride! It was actually fun! And I didn't wreck! Unfortunately, Ben did, but he pulled himself together, got back on his bike, and had fun! Brianna seemed to completely enjoy being a part of this family activity. We found the smallest bike helmet we could, but it still moved down over her eyes from time to time. Even still, she never complained. Every time I caught her eye, she was smiling!

Wednesday was spent working in our yard. We tried to make our yard look as if someone actually lives at our home. We did make great progress, but it was a lot of work. James worked the hardest!

Interestingly, as we were working, a dog wandered into the yard, trailing his leash behind him. James figured he had gotten away while on a walk. He kindly tied him to our tree, thinking that its owners would surely be by any moment. He even gave the dog some water. As the hours went by, I felt bad for the dog, and fed him. We debated over just letting him loose again, or calling the dog pound. Finally, I could stand watching him on that short leash no longer. I said, "Just let him loose." So we did. He wouldn't leave. He followed us around and wanted to play with us. He wanted to go into our back yard. It was interesting. Finally a little neighbor boy did come looking for him and took him home. So, we had a dog for an afternoon. I think that was a little longer than James was comfortable with, but afterall, HE was the one who tied him to the tree!

Thursday was Ben's graduation from Pre-school. On Wednesday night, he asked me what graduation clothes he was going to wear. I told him he could wear whatever he wanted. Then he explained that he meant a cap and gown--in black. I told him that he wasn't going to wear a cap and gown. He wanted to know how old he'd have to be to wear them. I told him when he graduated from high school. He said, "Well, I have to wear something for graduation!" So, on the way to his graduation, James stopped at card and party store, and purchased a paper graduation cap, which Ben was thrilled with!

At the actual "ceremony" there was a little platform--two steps up, small platform, two steps down. As each child's name was called, they would march up the steps, get their certificate and stand proudly for a photo. Once again we forgot our camera. When Ben's name was called, he stood, stooped over in a gorilla-like fashion, and walked poutily up the two steps. People couldn't help but giggle, myself included, but when Ben heard this, he couldn't handle it, and he laid down on the platform--head on the stair he had just come up, body across the platform, feet on the first stair down. He was starting to cry, when his Daddy lifted him up and moved him to the side.

After the ceremony, I apologized for laughing, but said that I thought he was trying to be funny. I imitated how he had looked, and he started to giggle, too. Later, though, he told me that he "doesn't like to stand up in front of all those grown-ups." I guess he's pretty normal!

Friday, we went back to the waterpark. This time it was a hot, sunny day! We brought Ben's good friend, and we all had a marvelous time. Brianna was pretty nervous at first, but by the end of the day, she was dangling her cute little feet in the water and making contented sounds. She is such a doll. She is just full of life and fun! And she looked sooooo dang cute in her little swimsuit!

We went straight from the waterpark to Ben's five-year-old check-up where he got three shots. Not a fun ending to the day, but he did great and didn't cry at all. He is growing well, and the nurse practitioner was very impressed with his intelligence.

This has been a wonderful vacation so far! We have made great memories which I will treasure always!

If you actually read this whole post, award yourself 200 points. If you comment, award yourself another 50 points!

Mama said . . .

All before noon today:

"Ben, why is your floor covered in the dirty clothes that I've told you to pick up for the last three days?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I think you need to lose a priviledge for not picking them up like you were told."

"What priviledge?"

I thought I'd get him where it hurts here, "You may not go to sleep in my bed tonight."

"Oh. That's good. I wasn't even thinking of that. Thanks Mommy."

************************************************************************

After sending Ben to his room to clean it, I went to check on how things were going. Upon entering the room, I was hit with a distinct odor: bleach.

Now, if Ben were 15, I might be impressed at this smell when I've asked him to clean his room. But Ben is 5. And so, my heart skipped about three beats as I quickly scanned the room for the source. There it was: Clorox Anywhere Hard Surface cleaner.

With forced calmness I ask, "Ben, where did you --" just then, I step onto damp carpet. "--spray this?" I finish. "On the carpet??"

Ben shakes his head 'no' and points to his Playhut, with it's fabric walls and ceiling. Apparently my forced calmness didn't fool him, and he sensed that he might be in trouble. Indeed, the walls and ceiling of his Playhut had been thoroughly sprayed, which also meant that the carpet all around had received it's own dousing.

Together we scrubbed and dried the carpet and the Playhut


*********************************************************************

By now I was feeling the need for some positive diversion, and a large dose of chocolate. So, when Ben asked if we could make cookies, I heartily agreed.

He put in the butter and helped measure the sugar. He helped crack the eggs and add them. The mixer was happily mixing. Things were going well. We were happy.

Then, I raised the mixing blade part of my Kitchen Aid to add the dry ingredients. Ben reached up and turned it on. Yup, butter-sugar-egg-mixture all over my kitchen.

****************************************************************

And so, if James calls you tonight, wondering where his wife is, just tell him to follow the trail of cookie crumbs to the figure rocking manically in the corner.

Irony

James has been working like . . . well, I was going to say "like a dog", but what kind of dumb saying is that anyway? Most dogs I see don't work at all. They poop. They may run around a little, or even play fetch, but work? . . . not hardly.

So, what has he been working like? Like a Maytag dishwasher? No. They do work well, but usually only for a couple of hours a day. I think I work more like a Maytag dishwasher.

Hmmm, no, I think James has been working like an air conditioner in July. He has been working VERY long, intense hours, and there is always more work than he can accomplish in the time he spends at work.

So, this week he received a notice that he is in violation of the Resident Work Hour Restrictions, along with a request that he submit a written explanation for this violation.

I find it ironic that his current rotation squeezes the very life out of him, and then requests that he spend more time in writing out an explanation of why he's working such long hours.

I think I could provide a written explanation or two, but I'm afraid that we might receive another notice of a different kind of violation if I did.

Happy Reading, or Listening, as the case may be

Books Currently on My Favorite's List:

1. The Education of Little Tree, by Forrest Carter
I love this book. It speaks to my heart. I laugh out loud; I sob out loud. It is a true story about a little boy who is part American indian, who goes to live with his grandparents after his parents die.

2. The Hiding Place, by Corrie Ten Boom with John and Elizabeth Sherril
This book is also a true story about a wonderful Christian family in Holland during WWII. They help with the Jewish underground. It is an amazing story, full of faith, and lessons from their lives about what it truly means to be a Christian.

3. The Peacegiver, by James L. Ferrell
This is a novel that is so excellently written. It deals with a man whose marriage and life are reaching a crisis. In reading it, I gained new understanding and insight into the Atonement. It was therapeutic for me to read. I enjoy therapy in novel form.


Books I am in the middle of reading:


The Five Lessons A Millionaire Taught Me, by Richard Paul Evans

Take Two Chocolates and Call Me in the Morning, by Emily Watts

The Family Nobody Wanted, by Helen Doss

The Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis

Bonds That Make Us Free, by C. Terry Warner

The Ultimate Career, by Daryl Hoole and Daughters

The Soul of Adoption, by Catherine E. Peolman



Books on tape I am currently listening to:


Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites: Kingdoms and Conquerers, by Chris Heimerdinger

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, by J.K. Rowling

Mother's Day 2007

To my own mother, thank you for wiping the tears and the bums. Thank you for your humor and your guidance. Thank you for enduring the noise and the messes. Thank you for doing the mountains of laundry. Thank you for your faith and for somehow keeping all eight kids clothed, fed, and even presentable (most of the time). You are my hero, and I love you! May this Mother's Day bring you cheer and lots of fun phone calls.

To my mother-in-law, thank you for raising my husband to be a man of faith. Thank you for teaching him to treat his wife like a queen. Your absolute love for and devotion to your children and your family is reflected in the lives of each of your children. Thank you for enduring the years with four young children close in age and a husband who worked long and crazy hours, all while you held down a job as well. I know you hate Mother's Day, but I wish for you a day filled with peace, happy memories, and the honor that you deserve as a wonderful mother! You are also my hero! I love you!

To my friends who long for children, but do not yet have any, I know the pain that this day can bring. It is somewhat akin to having all of your hopes and dreams, your very heart, ripped out, stomped flat and used as a corkboard where the pushpins of other's happinesses associated with this day pierce you with painful reminders of what you still long for. I wish for you an assurance from God that He has not forgotten you, that He has a plan for you, and that He loves you.

To Brianna's sweet, wonderful birthmother, I could never in a million years thank you enough for the sacrifice you have made. We thank you for giving Brianna life. Thank you for making our dreams come true, and for helping the Lord to be able to answer our prayers. I wish for you peace of mind and heart. I wish for you a bright, fulfilling, and happy life. You are an amazing person! I love you!

To Brianna's terrific birthgrandma, thank you for standing by your daughter and supporting her. Thank you for the love and support you have shown to us. Thank you for your faith. You are wonderful! We love you. I wish for you a day full of wonderful assurances that you are loved by your children and others (including us). I wish for you also, a day of true rest, and maybe a little pampering! : )

To my wonderful sisters and sisters-in-law, thank you for your friendships and examples to me. You are all spectacular people, with unique talents and abilities! I am grateful to be related to each of you! I wish you a day full of hugs, kisses, back-rubs, yummy smells, restful moments, laughter, and pampering!

Happy Mother's Day to all!

On "Losing It"

Last Saturday, following weeks and weeks of James working 70-80 hours a week, thereby rendering me a virtual single parent, I felt like I was "totally losing it". Don't get me wrong. I love my children with all my heart, but I NEEDED a break.

James had a priesthood leadership meeting that evening, and afterward went to dinner with a friend from the Stake. When he got home, I turned the kids over to him and said good-bye. He asked where I was going. "Out." I replied.

Then, I left.

Being the total rebel that I am, I drove to the grocery store . . . to buy starch, because we were out and I had a lot of ironing to do. And because I couldn't think of anything else to do. I just needed to get out, . . . alone.

In the grocery store, I didn't wander about, browsing. Nope, I walked briskly, like a woman on a mission, straight to the starch. Once I had it in my hand, I decided I probably needed something more. So I grabbed microwave popcorn (because we were out, and it was on sale), and lime sherbet (because I wanted something sweet and low-fat).

After checking out, it occurred to me that I now had an item that would rapidly melt. I felt disappointment, and a slight sense of relief, when I realized that my "outing" would be short-lived. I had to get this sherbet into the freezer.

I called James. "Are the kids in bed?" "Yes." "O.K., I'll be home in a while."

Not feeling completely ready to return home, I blasted the stereo in my car and accelerated onto the freeway . . . only to find myself behind the slowest driver in our city. There was traffic in the next lane, and my exit was coming right up, so I drove at an unfulfilling 50mph to my exit.

As I neared my home, I still didn't feel quite ready to go in. I drove around the block three times, finally pulling into my driveway as Simon and Garfunkel crooned, "Hoomeward bouund. I wish I waaas hoomeward bouund. "


My Dad has often said that if he ever "totally loses it" we can find him in the freeway meridian shooting out the headlights of the cars driving with their "brights" on--a pet peeve of his. (Before you call the police, just let me say that I have never questioned my Dad's sanity, so I think we're safe.)


So my Dad would shoot out "brights", while I, pathetically, buy starch. Perhaps that's a sign that I didn't "TOTALLY" lose it. . . . Maybe it was just a partial loss? Not that I want to shoot anything, or anything like that. It's just . . . starch?

So, how about you? What do you do, or where do you go when you "lose it?"