Garden Reflections

Though I have had a large garden each year for the last 12 years, I have always struggled to keep up with it. My husband and I would start out each season strong. We would work hard to get rid of the weeds and prepare the garden boxes. We would make a plan, buy and start the seeds, or buy starter plants. We would plant, and tend to the garden, but inevitably, the weeds and pests would take over. Eventually, each summer, I would get to the point of avoiding the garden because the ceaseless weed pulling, and uphill battle against pests, was hard on my physical and mental well-being. It was discouraging and overwhelming to even see the garden from my kitchen window. 

Last Spring, while buying starter plants at the nursery, we made a resigned comment to the employee about how, although we try, we mostly end up growing weeds in our garden. They encouraged us to purchase a weed-prevention product that is supposed to keep new weeds from growing. We bought this, along with some highly recommended nutrient-rich mulch.

After the last frost, we worked the new mulch into the soil, planted our starter plants, and sprinkled the weed-prevention granules throughout the garden. Then, with cautious optimism, we stood back to admire our newly planted garden in the fading light of day. It was beautiful.

The next day was Mother’s Day. That afternoon I wandered back out to the garden, expecting to bask in the beauty, order, and hopefulness of a newly planted garden. Instead, I was met by the sight of a garden full of baby plants that looked half-dead! Alarmed, I immediately checked the automatic drip lines, thinking the baby plants must be thirsty. But the drip lines were fine, the timer was working, and the plants had been given enough water. The sun was shining. There had been no frost overnight, and no storm had come through the area. The only thing I could imagine being the cause for the struggling plants was that, perhaps, the composition of the nutrient-rich mulch was too much for the baby plants. But, if that was the case, then the damage was done. I could not “un-amend” the soil. I would just have to watch and wait.

Everyday, except Sundays, I would walk out to the garden to do three things:  first, check on my plants; second, pull any new weeds; and third, check the squash plants for squash bugs and their eggs. In past years, whenever we had planted squash, we would perhaps get a few squash, before inevitably losing the plant to nasty squash bugs. I was determined to win the battle this year, knowing that it doesn't take long at all for squash bugs to multiply and destroy entire, healthy plants. 

For the first month to month-and-a-half, it was unclear whether any of the plants in the garden would survive. We lost a few in those early days and weeks. But then it seemed as though the remaining plants had stabilized, and would survive. This restored hope to me that, perhaps, we might be able to have a harvest, afterall. 

Yet, day after day, week after week, the plants did not seem to be growing. They no longer looked as though they were dying, but they seemed stunted. I remember one day, just standing in my garden, wondering how these plants that had been given good soil, plenty of water and sunshine, and had been lovingly and consistently cared for could just refuse to grow. Then, I wondered how something similar might happen with a person’s faith - how they might be given the spiritual equivalent of good soil, plenty of water and sunshine, and how they may have been lovingly and consistently cared for, and yet, for whatever reason, their “faith garden” might appear stunted as well. Then, the Spirit whispered to me that none of the effort is wasted. What appears to me to be stunted growth, might not reflect what is going on below the surface. The Spirit suggested to me that because these plants have had to struggle in order to survive this long, they may have deeper roots, and a better ability to endure hardship, and produce good “fruit”, than they might otherwise have had. 

I also observed that because the plants were slow to grow, and because of the weed preventative product, I was easily able to pull any weeds, as they popped up, and before they could develop strong roots. 

And, because the squash plants were still very small, when the squash bugs did show up– and they most certainly did!-- I was easily able to check every part of the plant every day, kill the bugs, and remove the eggs.

One day, after killing the squash bugs, removing their eggs, and pulling the weeds, I was walking around and looking at each of my plants. I noticed something was “off” with one of my tomato plants. I realized I was seeing “droppings” of some sort. As I looked closer, I could tell something was eating my tomato plant. So, I searched the tomato plant and found the culprit – a large, fat, happy, green, nasty tomato worm! Tomato worms, like squash bugs, can quickly decimate a healthy plant. I quickly disposed of him, and checked for more. He was the only one that day, but I began a regular practice of checking my tomato plants after that, finding several more over the course of the season.  

About mid-July, the plants in my garden began to really grow, and baby vegetables could be seen throughout. My garden routine was now taking place in the early morning, before the heat of the day. One day, as I was carefully inspecting the underside of each squash leaf, looking for and finding more squash bug eggs, I frustratingly wondered how they could possibly keep showing up. I was so thorough in my inspections, and in my killing of all the squash bugs I found each day. Where were they coming from?! And then, I observed a bug flying right over to the plant I was then working on. It was a squash bug! To that point, I had no idea they could fly! Admittedly, I was overwhelmed and discouraged. I realized that I could conceivably find and kill all the squash bugs currently on my plants, and I could conceivably find and get rid of all of the eggs on all of the leaves on my plants, and THEY WOULD JUST KEEP COMING. It seemed like a battle I could never win.

By this point, though, my plants had really taken root, and were actively growing fruits and vegetables. I couldn’t give up now, this was a garden I had invested so much time and care into, and it had become a garden worth fighting for. And so, I continued my routine. Day after day, week after week. 

And, oh the harvest from that garden! Basket after basket of beautiful tomatoes, peppers, squash, cucumbers, tomatillos, lettuce, and herbs! A harvest that often overwhelmed me in its abundance. This was by far the prettiest, healthiest, most productive garden I had ever grown. I joked that it was the first garden I had grown that actually looked like it had a gardener.

One day, as I was standing and just admiring my thriving, abundant garden one morning, and thinking of the difficulties along the way, the Spirit whispered to my heart, “Sometimes the miracle is the squash bugs.”  What??!   And then I saw it. Without my prior experience with squash bugs – knowing the destruction they can cause in such a short amount of time – I would not have developed the determination and commitment to check my squash plants daily. A daily check which inevitably led to other care needed in my garden. The weeds, the tomato worms, the pests that found and infested my tomatillo plants, the fungus, and other issues, were all found and addressed because I was in my garden daily. I knew my plants. I noticed when something changed. And I attended to its needs. All because of squash bugs, which, to that point, I swore emerged straight from a conduit to hell. But, now, I’m not so sure. 

And, if I’m wrong about squash bugs, what else might I be misunderstanding about the nature of opposition in my life and in the world? What other beauty, abundance, growth, and opportunity is brought about by the efforts required when dealing with something that seems ugly, and overwhelming, and impossible to overcome?

2 Ne 2:11

Re-building Blocks

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In a talk he gave in April of this year, Dieter Uchtdorf  shared the following.  “Not far from where my family lived was the city of Dresden. Those who lived there witnessed perhaps a thousand times what I had seen [during WWII]. Massive firestorms, caused by thousands of tons of explosives, swept through Dresden, destroying more than 90 percent of the city and leaving little but rubble and ash in their wake.

“In a very short time, the city once nicknamed the “Jewel Box” was no more. Erich Kästner, a German author, wrote of the destruction, “In a thousand years was her beauty built, in one night was it utterly destroyed.”¹ During my childhood I could not imagine how the destruction of a war our own people had started could ever be overcome. The world around us appeared totally hopeless and without any future.

“Last year I had the opportunity to return to Dresden. Seventy years after the war, it is, once again, a “Jewel Box” of a city. The ruins have been cleared, and the city is restored and even improved.

“During my visit I saw the beautiful Lutheran church Frauenkirche, the Church of Our Lady. Originally built in the 1700s, it had been one of Dresden’s shining jewels, but the war reduced it to a pile of rubble. For many years it remained that way, until finally it was determined that the Frauenkirche would be rebuilt.

“Stones from the destroyed church had been stored and cataloged and, when possible, were used in the reconstruction. Today you can see these fire-blackened stones pockmarking the outer walls. These “scars” are not only a reminder of the war history of this building but also a monument to hope—a magnificent symbol of man’s ability to create new life from ashes.”

The phrase that stood out to me the most in this story is, “Stones from the destroyed church had been stored and cataloged.”  I find that stunning, mind-boggling, amazing, and inspiring.  Amid an ENTIRE city in ruins, lives and livelihoods destroyed, some one, or some ones, looking on the whole big mess, had the faith and foresight to sift through the rubble to find stones that could be used to rebuild.  Consider the patience and stick-to-it-iveness it took to go through the rubble! Then, they carefully cataloged and stored these stones, likely with no idea when or how they would rebuild.  

I think that one thing life is definitely fair about, is that we ALL face storms in life.  We ALL have, or will have, times when we are the ones standing amidst the rubble of a life that has been devastated.  When all that you love has lain wasted around you; when your hopes and dreams have been crushed; when you have been unable to imagine when or how things will become ok again; what are the stones/bricks/blocks that you have found amidst the dust and shambles that has allowed you “to create new life from ashes”?  Whether your firestorm took the form of illness, job loss, addiction, accidents, divorce, death, abuse, infertility, betrayal, failure, etc, what have you cataloged and stored and used to rebuild?

I am a woman of faith.  For me, faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ, and in my all-powerful Father in Heaven, is the cornerstone that has endured through all the destruction I’ve experienced.  I believe in their love and ability to strengthen me beyond my own capacities; in their ability to lift me from despair and despondency; and in the Atonement they have provided in my behalf.

Dieter Uchtdorf said this, “As I pondered the history of Dresden and marveled at the ingenuity and resolve of those who restored what had been so completely destroyed, I felt the sweet influence of the Holy Spirit. Surely, I thought, if man can take the ruins, rubble, and remains of a broken city and rebuild an awe-inspiring structure that rises toward the heavens, how much more capable is our Almighty Father to restore His children who have fallen, struggled, or become lost?”

For me, Family has also been a constant source of support and encouragement-- a stone that has endured, and on which I have always been able to rely.

Another stone that has endured and aided each time I’ve had to rebuild is work.  I understand that messes, no matter who created them, don’t clean themselves.  The stone of work allows me to focus on what I can do now.  Even if it is sifting through piles of dust, hoping to find more bricks with which to build.

The stone of humor has been invaluable for me.  I’m not entirely sure why, but it has endured all that I have been through, and helps me to endure and rebuild more cheerfully.

There are more stones that I have used and rely on, but I am truly interested in hearing from you.  What is your story?

In the throw-away culture of today, it seems like the logical thing would have been to call in the bulldozers and clear the disaster to build anew.  But, think of what would have been lost.  Think of the beauty and distinction that the scarred stones add.

In sifting through the dust and the wreckage of your firestorm, what stones have you found, cataloged and used to rebuild?

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Ben (13) walked in the room the other day and said, "It has come to my attention that barbed wire guitar strings are a bad idea."

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Brianna (9) was complaining about her friend's little sister always following them around.  She said, "She's like an annoying piece of art on a wall of nice portraits."

Trials, Testimony, Conversion, and Example

Here's my talk from 2-23-14:

Good afternoon brothers and sisters.  Lehi begins his account of his vision of the Tree of Life with this: 4 “…for behold, methought I saw in my dream, a dark and dreary wilderness.  5 And it came to pass that I saw a man, and he was dressed in a white robe; and he came and stood before me.”  That sounds to me as if it is a representative of the Lord, or the Lord, himself.  Lehi continues,  “6 And it came to pass that he spake unto me, and bade me follow him.  7 And it came to pass that as I followed him I beheld myself that I was in a dark and dreary waste.”  Now, I think, “Wha??  That can’t be!  He was following a HEAVENLY messenger!! 

I think there is a simple, but profound lesson here: even as we follow our Savior, and His representatives here on earth, we still encounter hardships and trials.  I know that, in a simple way, we learn about this in Primary as we answer the question: Why do we come to Earth?  The answer? To gain a body, AND TO BE TESTED.  But, I think that we are sometimes surprised when that testing comes EVEN AS WE ARE FOLLOWING the Lord’s Prophets and His commandments. 

Remember this testing is part of the Great Plan of Happiness.  And, I can personally testify that my trials have stimulated my growth and understanding, and have helped me to develop compassion.  But that is not to say that trials are either fun, or easy.  And, I have come to understand that facing trials requires both testimony AND conversion.

Elder Bednar teaches, “Testimony is the beginning of and a prerequisite to continuing conversion. Testimony is a point of departure; it is not an ultimate destination. Strong testimony is the foundation upon which conversion is established.”

 “Testimony alone is not and will not be enough to protect us in the latter-day storm of darkness and evil [the dark and dreary waste] in which we are living. Testimony is important and necessary but not sufficient to provide the spiritual strength and protection we need. Some members of the Church with testimonies have wavered and fallen away. Their spiritual knowledge and commitment did not measure up to the challenges they faced.”

Understanding that testimony and conversion are not synonymous helps me to understand the story of King Benjamin’s people in the Book of Mormon.

At the end of his life, King Benjamin gathers his people together, and teaches them powerfully about Jesus Christ.  Afterward, he asks his people if they believe what he has taught them.  Mosiah 5:2 records,  “And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. 3 And we, ourselves, also, through the infinite goodness of God, and the manifestations of his Spirit, have great views of that which is to come; and were it expedient, we could prophesy of all things.

Elder Bednar explains, “A testimony is spiritual knowledge of truth obtained by the power of the Holy Ghost.”  Certainly King Benjamin’s people have obtained a testimony!  They are on fire here, and in verse 5 they proclaim,  “we are willing to enter into a covenant with our God to do his will, and to be obedient to his commandments in all things that he shall command us, all the remainder of our days, …”

So, what happens between Mosiah chapter 5, and Mosiah chapter 26, where we have the account of their children: 1 “Now it came to pass that there were many of the rising generation that could not understand the words of king Benjamin, being little children at the time he spake unto his people; and they did not believe the tradition of their fathers. 2 They did not believe what had been said concerning the resurrection of the dead, neither did they believe concerning the coming of Christ. 3 And now because of their unbelief they could not understand the word of God; and their hearts were hardened. 4 And they would not be baptized; neither would they join the church. And they were a separate people as to their faith, and remained so ever after, even in their carnal and sinful state; for they would not call upon the Lord their God.”

How could this happen?  From parents with testimonies, to children who would not join the church or even call upon God?

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in his talk, A Prayer for the Children, provides a possible answer.  He says, “I think some parents may not understand that even when they feel secure in their own minds regarding matters of personal testimony, they can nevertheless make that faith too difficult for their children to detect. We can be reasonably active, meeting-going Latter-day Saints, but if we do not live lives of gospel integrity and convey to our children powerful heartfelt convictions regarding the truthfulness of the Restoration and the divine guidance of the Church from the First Vision to this very hour, then those children may, to our regret but not surprise, turn out not to be visibly active, meeting-going Latter-day Saints or sometimes anything close to it.”

Elder Holland also says, “In this Church there is an enormous amount of room—and scriptural commandment—for studying and learning, for comparing and considering, for discussion and awaiting further revelation. We all learn “line upon line, precept upon precept,” with the goal being authentic religious faith informing genuine Christlike living. In this there is no place for coercion or manipulation, no place for intimidation or hypocrisy. But no child in this Church should be left with uncertainty about his or her parents’ devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Restoration of His Church, and the reality of living prophets and apostles who, now as in earlier days, lead that Church according to “the will of the Lord, … the mind of the Lord, … the word of the Lord, … and the power of God unto salvation.”  In such basic matters of faith, prophets do not apologize for requesting unity,…”

“Parents simply cannot flirt with skepticism or cynicism, then be surprised when their children expand that flirtation into full-blown romance. If in matters of faith and belief children are at risk of being swept downstream by this intellectual current or that cultural rapid, we as their parents must be more certain than ever to hold to anchored, unmistakable moorings clearly recognizable to those of our own household. It won’t help anyone if we go over the edge with them, explaining through the roar of the falls all the way down that we really did know the Church was true and that the keys of the priesthood really were lodged there but we just didn’t want to stifle anyone’s freedom to think otherwise. No, we can hardly expect the children to get to shore safely if the parents don’t seem to know where to anchor their own boat.”

Let’s contrast King Benjamin’s people with the people of Ammon.  You’ll remember that they had been a ferocious and blood-thirsty people, delighting in bloodshed.  But, after receiving the message of the gospel brought to them by Ammon and his brethren, the scriptures record: (Alma 24: 6) “Now there was not one soul among all the people who had been converted unto the Lord that would take up arms against their brethren; nay, they would not even make any preparations for war; yea, and also their king commanded them that they should not.

Elder Bednar teaches, ““Continuing conversion is constant devotion to the revealed truth we have received—with a heart that is willing and for righteous reasons. Knowing that the gospel is true is the essence of a testimony. Consistently being true to the gospel is the essence of conversion.”

Instead defending themselves, they buried their weapons of war or rebellion, (Alma 24: 18) “And this they did, it being in their view a testimony to God, and also to men, that they never would use weapons again for the shedding of man’s blood; and this they did, vouching and covenanting with God, that rather than shed the blood of their brethren they would give up their own lives; …19 And thus we see that, when these Lamanites were brought to believe and to know the truth, they were firm, and would suffer even unto death rather than commit sin; and thus we see that they buried their weapons of peace, or they buried the weapons of war, for peace.”

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21 Now when the people [of Ammon] saw that [their enemies] were coming against them they went out to meet them, and prostrated themselves before them to the earth, and began to call on the name of the Lord; and thus they were in this attitude when the Lamanites began to fall upon them, and began to slay them with the sword.”

Thankfully they were not all killed.  But they all were willing to die rather than break their covenant.  I think these amazing parents showed their complete conversion as they exemplified this counsel from Elder Holland, “Live the gospel as conspicuously as you can. Keep the covenants your children know you have made. Give priesthood blessings. And bear your testimony!  Don’t just assume your children will somehow get the drift of your beliefs on their own.”

So, what became of the children of these people of Ammon?  Alma 53 reveals that the children were also covenant-making and covenant-keeping people.  “17 And [the sons of the people of Ammon] entered into a covenant to fight for the liberty of the Nephites, yea, to protect the land unto the laying down of their lives; yea, even they covenanted that they never would give up their liberty, but they would fight in all cases to protect the Nephites and themselves from bondage.

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“20 And they were all young men, and they were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all—they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted.  21 Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him.”

Yes, they had been taught.  By word and by example.

Let’s return to Lehi’s account. Remember, he was following a heavenly messenger, but now he’s in a dark and dreary waste. Verse 8 says, “ And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness, I began to pray unto the Lord that he would have mercy on me, according to the multitude of his tender mercies.”  Consider, how often do we, figuratively, “travel for the space of MANY HOURS in DARKNESS” before we think to pray?  Listen to what happens as soon as Lehi chooses to pray, “ 9 And it came to pass after I had prayed unto the Lord I beheld a large and spacious field. 10 And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.”  You may remember that the Tree of Life in Lehi’s vision represents our Savior, and the fruit represents eternal life.  So, from a place of darkness, of testing, of trial, the power of prayer dispels the darkness, and brings our focus back to the One who has power over darkness, and to our ultimate goal of eternal life. 

As we know, Lehi goes forth and partakes of the fruit of the Tree of Life, and is filled with joy.  He wants to share it.  After looking around and spotting his family, Lehi says, in verse 15, “And it came to pass that I beckoned unto them; and I also did say unto them with a loud voice that they should come unto me, and partake of the fruit, which was desirable above all other fruit.” Lehi’s example makes me wonder, with regard to my experiences with and feelings toward my Savior, “What are my actions and my words communicating to my family?”  Do they know by the things that I say, and the things that I do, that I know that my Savior lives, that He loves me, and them; and that He is ever aware of us, and is truly guiding His Church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; do they know that I know that the power of the Priesthood is real, and that the covenants we make here on earth are a strength and a protection to us? Do they know that I love and sustain our living Prophet and Apostles?

Or, do I get a little lazy, or maybe afraid that I might sound like a fanatic in this day and age?

Elder Richard L. Evans once gave this warning:

“Sometimes some parents mistakenly feel that they can relax a little as to conduct and conformity or take perhaps a so called liberal view of basic and fundamental things—thinking that a little laxness or indulgence won’t matter—or they may fail to teach or to attend Church, or may voice critical views. Some parents … seem to feel that they can ease up a little on the fundamentals without affecting their family or their family’s future. But,” he observed, “if a parent goes a little off course, the children are likely to exceed the parent’s example.”

And Elder Holland gave this warning:

“To lead a child (or anyone else!), even inadvertently, away from faithfulness, away from loyalty and bedrock belief simply because we want to be clever or independent is license no parent nor any other person has ever been given. In matters of religion a skeptical mind is not a higher manifestation of virtue than is a believing heart,…”

Elder Holland continues with this counsel, and this comfort:

“When erecting their sacred tabernacle in the wilderness of Sinai [another dreary waste], the ancient children of Israel were commanded to make firm their supporting cords and strengthen the stakes which held them.  The reason? Storms arise in life—regularly. So fix it, fasten it, then fix and fasten it again. Even then we know that some children will make choices that break their parents’ hearts. Moms and dads can do everything right and yet have children who stray. Moral agency still obtains. But even in such painful hours it will be comforting for you to know that your children knew of your abiding faith in Christ, in His true Church, in the keys of the priesthood and in those who hold them. It will be comforting then for you to know that if your children choose to leave the straight and narrow way, they leave it very conscious that their parents were firmly in it. Furthermore, they will be much more likely to return to that path when they come to themselves  and recall the loving example and gentle teachings you offered them there.

I would like to close with this quote from Elder Holland, “Brothers and sisters, our children take their flight into the future with our thrust and with our aim. And even as we anxiously watch that arrow in flight and know all the evils that can deflect its course after it has left our hand, nevertheless we take courage in remembering that the most important mortal factor in determining that arrow’s destination will be the stability, strength, and unwavering certainty of the holder of the bow.” End quote. 

If you watch or read the news, or have kids in school, then you are probably aware that the world we live in is a dark and dreary waste.  So, let us pray, that the darkness may be dispersed, and that our focus may be on our Savior, and then, let us strengthen our testimonies and deepen our conversion, let us make and keep sacred covenants, and live the gospel as conspicuously as we can, that our children may know that we know. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

• April 2003, Jeffrey R. Holland, A Prayer for the Children
• October 2012, David A. Bednar, Converted Unto the Lord
• 1 Nephi 8:4-9, 15
• Mosiah 5:2-5
• Mosiah 26:1-4
• Alma 24:6, 18-19, 21
• Alma 53:17, 20-21

Aw, Poop!!

I know several people who are facing some tough trials.  I spoke with one this morning while I was out scooping dog poop.  It was cold, overcast, and there were autumn leaves all over the lawn.  Those conditions made it difficult to find the poop that needed scooping.  After we had hung up, and I was still wandering the yard looking for poop, this beautiful analogy came to me:

Sometimes life is like scooping dog poop on an overcast, autumn day.  There are times when we have to deal with the consequences of others (their poop).  It can be overwhelming, not knowing for sure how much poop there is; knowing that even though you're doing your best to be careful and take care of it, you may still have many unpleasant surprises.

As I was trying to distinguish between the many brown leaves and the poop, I found that if I moved around, and looked from different angles, suddenly the poop became obvious.  It was still poop.  It still had to be dealt with. However, when it became obvious, identifiable, and distinguishable, I was able to easily get it cleaned up.  So, as we're dealing with poop, and all that it means, changing perspectives can help to make what needs to be done more clear, and more easily dealt with.  It will still be poop.  It will still need to be dealt with, but maybe the new perspective will make it more manageable.

What a poopy analogy, eh?

Latter-Day parents know they must talk, and talk, and talk ... and talk.

Earlier this week I was scrolling through my FaceBook feed, when I came across pornography.  I was shocked and saddened that it was posted by a long-time trusted, and respected friend.  My first inclination was to give him the benefit of the doubt, and to guess that someone had "hacked" his account.  Honestly, I hope that is what happened.  However, I realized, if I had seen this on James' account, or on Ben's or Brianna's future accounts, there would be no second chances for that person.  And so, I unfriended him.  I am sad that it happened, but I feel like I did the right thing.
With that on my mind, today I read an article about pornography.  Written by a man who used to be a defender of pornography.  He used to work for a magazine that offered "soft porn".  It talked about how he has now come to understand how destructive and damaging, addictive and pervasive pornography actually is.  How it is totally ruining the rising generation.  How their "sex education" is coming from online porn; and how that is twisting their expectations, understanding, and character.  It referenced interviews with sexually active teenage girls, and told how disturbing and aggressive their sexual experiences had been, as they and/or their partner was getting the ideas and "know how" from porn.  Most of the kids interviewed say that they come across it on their FaceBook feed.  How I wish the "no second chances" policy was universal.
I am sickened to realize that we live in a world where my children WILL be exposed to pornography.  I can be (and already am) open with my kids, but ultimately they must choose.  And, unfortunately, I think Alexander Pope was on target when he wrote:

Vice is a monster of so frightful mien,
As to be hated needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.

Alexander Pope (1688-1744) An Essay on Man, 1733-1734 

What if, through bystander exposure, they first endure, then pity, then embrace??  All I can do is teach them the gospel, show the way by example, pray for them, keep open communication, pray for our nation and the world, and leave it in the Lord's hands.  This is the first time I have genuinely felt that maybe the Pioneers really did have it easier.

Yes, they had to "walk, and walk, and walk", but they didn't have to sit their kids down and explain to them what pornography is, and what it can do to them.  And then, because my kids always want to know why, try to explain the evil that exists in the hearts of men; and about how Satan is SO hateful that we have bodies, that he will do all that he can to degrade, distort, and disenchant our view of our bodies and the bodies of others.  We have to "talk, and talk, and talk."  And, we cannot stop, or hope that someone else will do it for us.